We have literally no words for this inescapable, freaky new dog song

We’ve seen it all on TikTok—from "Weird Barbies" to Berries and Cream. But every so often, the app delivers us a sound so bonkers, we’re genuinely left a little speechless. The Russian dog trend is one of those sounds.

The sound

Set to a pulsing electronic dance beat that would make Ke$ha blush, we’re treated to glamorous, sunglasses-laden it-girls posing with their equally-as-fashionable pet dogs. 

Which would be fine if the dogs in question weren’t fully-grown humans contorted into terrifying monstrosities with the help of a T-shirt, leash, and conveniently-placed socks. Sometimes, they even wear a gold chain, just for that extra bit of je ne sais quoi. 

The lyrics accompanying the song are in Russian, as are most of the TikTokers partaking in this trend, but one thing that unmistakable is the sound of a dog barking, with the human-dog-hybrids happily yapping and hopping in the air like a possessed demon baby. 

Where’s it from?

The song in question is "Juice." It was released earlier this year by Ukrainian musician Daryana. 

Specifically, the lyrics lip-sung translate into: “My dog ​​is dressed more expensive than you/Bundles of banknotes, I'm going to buy a diamond/This is my lifestyle pop star look at me/Your boyfriend got it, how come he wants me.”

With this context, the bougie dog cosplaying makes a little more sense. But it’s no less disturbing.

Sound off

You would think that the fact that this trend has a language barrier would make it less appealing to English audiences. But for a lot of viewers, the lack of context and ambiguity is part of the attraction. 

That’s probably why the sound has been used 93,200 times, amassing tens of millions of views.

“I will never delete this app,” one commenter wrote. “This is the funniest thing that I’ve ever seen in my whole life,” another adds. “The bark jumps took me out,” a third admitted. Ultimately, when it comes to going viral, there’s just one rule: the weirder, the better.