A Reddit post shared to r/WouldIBeTheAhole describes a wife's dilemma over whether to continue buying groceries for her mother-in-law, who is recovering from hip surgery, or step back from the self-appointed responsibility after realizing her efforts weren't truly being appreciated. The post has garnered more than 5,800 upvotes and over 2,101 comments.
She said her mother-in-law had hip replacement surgery roughly one year ago and needed time to recover, which made getting around a challenge for her. So, since she lived only 10 minutes away from her and her husband, she thought it would be helpful to pick up her groceries on her way home from work.
Not only did the writer do her grocery shopping for her, but she also created the list, packed the items away in her kitchen, and spent $150 of her own money on the shopping every week. Talk about going above and beyond!
Nevertheless, she would soon find out that her accommodating nature was unappreciated over dinner one night at her sister-in-law's house. She said her mother-in-law invited one of her friends from church, who commented on how nice it was of her to pick up her groceries. Then she added, "Oh, but Linda told us you always get her the store brand though, she really misses her Boar's Head."
Despite Buying and Delivering Her Groceries, Her Mother-in-Law Was Still Ungrateful
After the comment was made, her mother-in-law remained awkwardly quiet. But the message was clear: Her efforts were not appreciated. When dinner was over, she asked her husband if he was aware of the things his mother had been saying. But he made light of the comment and said she shouldn't take it seriously.
A commenter said they had experienced a similar situation with their ex-mother-in-law. They wrote, "My ex MIL didn't drive. I took her to shopping every weekend, when she lived next door to my ex and I.
I overheard her say she only talked with me since I was her ride. I stopped taking her immediately."
Unable to remain passive about the situation, especially since she'd spent over $7,000 on her groceries over the past year, the Redditor said she texted her mother-in-law that night. She let her know that she was aware of what she'd been telling her church friends.
In response, her mother-in-law assured her that she meant nothing by it and was simply making conversation because people knew she wasn't shopping for herself and asked about her groceries.
But that wasn't much consolation to the writer, who had been spending her own time and resources to help her, only for her mother-in-law to tell people she was buying her cheap stuff. Now, she's considering stopping her selfless acts of kindness and allowing one of her mother-in-law's own children to take over.
In reacting to the post, the commenters largely agreed with her decision to stop helping, and said she wouldn't be wrong if she did. One commenter said her husband should step in if his mother is this ungrateful. They wrote, "WNBTA, Linda ate $7,000 of your groceries for free and still had the balls to talk s**t about the brand at church. If she misses her Boars Head that damn bad, her useless son can get off his a** and buy it."
Another commenter said her hip shouldn't take this long to heal. They wrote, "A full year later and she still can’t get around? What was the point of the hip replacement then if it didn’t make her more mobile? She’s pulling the wool over your eyes! Also, how the hell does one single old lady eat $150 a week in groceries??"
A separate commenter said she should stop doing the shopping for her mother-in-law and have her church friends take turns doing it instead. They wrote, "NTA Tell your MIL you can no longer do her shopping. Tell her to reach out to her church group to work out a rotation for buying her groceries moving forward.
Oddly, for people like your MIL, the more you go out of your way to help them and buy them things, the less they respect you, the more demanding they become, and the more they will talk bad about you if you try to stop."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the post, which are based solely on the author's account shared on r/WouldIBeTheAhole.
