A TikTok creator, @cari.fund, shared a video explaining what toxic parents tend to say to their adult children when they tell them they have been hurt. The creator reenacted a conversation between a mother and her child to help viewers better understand. The video, posted on Sept. 10, had 103,900 views at the time of publication.
The woman started the video by portraying a mother telling her child that she was the worst mother in the world. The woman, who also reenacted the child, then said that the child had just told the mother that she had hurt them and had not asked her to play the victim. The mother then told the child that they were being “too sensitive” and took everything personally.
“Funny how I was always too sensitive and you were never responsible for being too cruel,” said the child to the mother. The mother then responded that the child remembered only the bad and forgot the good things she had done for them. “I remember the good; I also remember what hurt. One doesn’t erase the other just because that version makes you more comfortable,” the child stated.
The mother questioned whether this was how the child would treat her after everything she had sacrificed for them. The child responded bluntly: “I was your child. Food, shelter and raising me weren’t loans. I agreed to spend my adulthood repaying with silence.”
The mother pointed out what she described as a pattern in the child's behavior. She told them that they had first said the mother hurt them and then called her a terrible parent. “You’re too sensitive. You set a boundary. You’re ungrateful, and suddenly the problem isn’t what they did; the problem is that you won’t shut up about it."
The mother added that she had moved on and built an entire life, and that she had stopped confusing moving on with shutting up. The comments section had mixed reactions. One commenter said, “Coming back to say that this is more of what my mom said. I now have a 2 year old going on 3 and I couldn’t imagine doing anything she did to me and do that to my daughter…”
Another wrote, “Mine said wa wa wa then told me I wasn’t giving a healthy relationship , then told me I wasn’t welcome at my dad’s surgery to remove cancer.” A third commenter wrote, “Didn’t come to boot camp graduation. Didn’t come to college graduation. Refused to come to my wedding. Yeah- I’m out.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the events described in the video. The details above reflect @cari.fund’s account as shared on TikTok. The identities of the commenters have not been confirmed.
