TikTok content creator @cierratati posted a video which received a whopping 4.7 million views and over 11,000 comments, describing why modern female friendships feel lackluster because hanging out requires way too much planning and seems performative. She said women need to bring back the art of simply existing if they want their friendships to be fulfilling.
Cierra began her video by explaining that adult female friendships don't always require extensive planning and preparation. She pointed out that women have busy lives filled with children, family responsibilities, and careers, but spending time together can be as simple as running errands.
@ciearratati Everything doesn’t need to be super planned out ? let’s just exist together
♬ original sound - Ciearra Tati
She said friends could meet during a regular weekday while their children are at school and take care of their individual responsibilities together. Not everyone has the time or flexibility to spend hours at brunch in an aesthetically pleasing restaurant. Instead, friends can accomplish their daily tasks while catching up and grabbing something to eat along the way.
Cierra also suggested that getting Chinese takeout and eating in the car while talking and listening to nature could be just as enjoyable, if not better, than sitting down at a restaurant. Fittingly, she recorded her video inside her car.
Cierra Says There's Nothing Wrong With Simplicity and the Art of Just Existing Together
The TikToker emphasized that every interaction with a friend doesn't need to be planned in advance like a weekend getaway. She said she would be perfectly happy if a friend were sitting in her car with her at that moment, simply hanging out and existing together.
However, Cierra wasn't dismissing the appeal of making reservations at a classy restaurant or planning a trip with friends. She acknowledged that those special occasions are worth appreciating, too.
"That's great! All those are great. But what about when we're just existing, bro? Let's just exist," she said, before adding, "The art of existing together is being lost."
Cierra's message is a reminder that meaningful friendships don't always need elaborate plans or picture-perfect outings. Sometimes, simply sharing the everyday moments can be enough.
Many reactions to the post came from commenters who agreed that most friendships aren't even real because every moment is seen as a viral social media moment. One commenter wrote, "It's these damn phones. Everything gotta be an aesthetic."
Another commenter said most friendships today are performative. They wrote, "Nobody wants to really connect anymore, just want to perform."
A separate commenter added that they would rather do things alone than feel like they have to perform because they're with someone. They wrote, "I agree, everything has become so performative because of aesthetics. Smetimes I just wanna go to the grocery store looking crazy and smelling funky, and I'd rather do that alone than feel like I have to be presentable just because somebody is with me."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the video, which are based solely on Cierra’s (@cierratati) personal experiences and opinions shared on TikTok.
