A man who goes by @delamomanny on TikTok shared a video discussing his dating mistakes. Instead of blaming everyone else, he realized he might be the problem. He believes people are often quick to blame their dates rather than reflect on their own behavior. Instead of playing the victim, he decided to take accountability for his dating life. The video has received 167,300 views and 1,076 comments.
In the video, he says he thinks he might be the first person to admit this out loud. When it comes to dating, two people are involved. If things are constantly going wrong, he advises looking in the mirror and figuring out what role you might be playing in the situation. He believes it isn't fair to constantly blame other people.
He uses a baseball analogy to explain his point. If he were a professional baseball player who couldn't get any hits, why would he blame the bat? The same logic, he argues, applies to dating. What could you be doing wrong in the situation? He was willing to reflect on his own mistakes and admitted that he can be a difficult person to deal with. As a result, he understands why some women might not be interested in settling down with him.
People shared the dating habits they believe could be holding them back
The video prompted viewers to reflect on their own behavior and the challenges they bring into relationships. Some admitted to struggling with insecurity, communication, and other habits that can make dating difficult.
“I'm boring, shy, lack life experience, easily irritated, kinda insecure, avoidant, lazy, sensitive and a bad kisser,” one user wrote. Another commenter added, “I'm not difficult but I am boring. I get why it's a turn off.”
One person joked, “I literally hate talking to people I just met on the phone, so I know I give horrible energy.” Another chimed in, “I realized I'm a bad communicator when I really like someone. Idk I get nervous.”
Another commenter agreed with his take, writing, “Most people are. Especially people who are set in their ways. People who are severely independent. People who are severely regimented (undiagnosed autistic or ADHD).” Someone else wrote, “I think this is true for everyone, we are all difficult to be with in some way. But not everyone can come to terms with that.”
Not everyone agreed with the idea that someone must be at fault. “Why does anyone need to be blamed? Maybe dating is just hard?” one commenter asked.
Another person opened up about their dating anxiety: “My problem is I start off in love literally. I rarely have crushes so when I do, I'm like 100% in and most people just are not like that. So when I meet people who are more slow to take a liking I take it as disinterest entirely and end up trying to express my emotions but it comes off like I'm just over bearing and they eventually tell me they aren’t looking for anything and then I go back to my shell.”
The comments reflected the range of challenges people face when dating, from insecurity and communication struggles to differences in how quickly they develop feelings. Like the TikToker, many commenters were willing to acknowledge the ways their own behavior might affect their relationships.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made by @delamomanny in his TikTok video, which are based on his personal experiences and opinions about dating.
