TikTok content creator @ingridexplainsitall posted a video that received 2.1 million views and over 1,400 comments, explaining why she believes men don't approach women as much in modern dating, even when they still check them out. According to her theory, men put women into one of two categories based on their appearance. Which category a woman falls into, she argued, could be the defining factor between a man staring from a distance and actually approaching her.
Ingrid began by explaining that men show interest in two types of women for completely different reasons. She said, “There are two types of women that men will like: I like you for the night, or I like you for forever.”
She went on to say that, contrary to popular belief, getting approached by different men frequently is not necessarily a good thing. She continued by describing how the first type of woman, whom men supposedly see as a girl for the night, often gets approached more.
Ingrid further explained that this type of woman gets approached frequently because of her aesthetic, or her “look,” which she believes can communicate that she is “easy.” Essentially, according to Ingrid, the way a woman looks and carries herself can influence whether a man sees her as “a fun time for the night” or a potential partner for life.
She encouraged women to dress however they feel comfortable, but also to be aware of what their clothing might communicate to others. According to her, the more a woman reveals when she dresses, the more men may approach her because they perceive her as easily accessible. She said, “Of course they're gonna approach that person. . . They look like easy pickings.”
TikToker Says Appearance Can Influence How Men Approach Women
Ingrid continued by explaining that the second type of woman, who has a less revealing aesthetic, is the one she believes men consider more seriously for a long-term relationship.
While this may sound like a positive thing, she said it's precisely why men might not approach these women as often. She listed a few reasons, starting with the perception that such women are expensive to date.
She said, “Number one: You look expensive. Men will not approach women that they feel they cannot financially support or at least get through the dating period on.” She was also quick to point out that, in this instance, a man choosing not to approach may be doing the woman a favor.
She continued by explaining that the second reason men might not approach this type of woman is that they see her as wife material and are afraid of rejection. Ingrid argued that a woman who dresses with class, carries herself respectfully, and is physically attractive may get approached less often because some men see her as too much of an investment, emotionally or otherwise.
However, Ingrid said this could be a good thing because it helps distinguish men who are looking for a one-night stand from those who want a serious relationship. When a man does approach a woman she considers wife material, Ingrid advises her to take the time to assess whether he meets her standards.
Reactions to the video came from commenters, mainly women, who agreed but were not aware that this was the reason they weren't being approached by men. One commenter wrote, "I have baddie aesthetics but never ever get approached in person."
Another commenter added that she always feels the stares of men never gets approached. She wrote, "I swear I never get approached but I always feel the eyes. I've never understood it."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the opinions shared by TikTok creator @ingridexplainsitall, which reflect her personal perspective on modern dating.
