A TikTok video posted by @jilliangerhardt, which has received close to 667,000 views and 2,085 comments, describes why she has never subscribed to the idea of gentle parenting and never plans to as a mother. She said that while she loves her children dearly, she won't lower her position as an adult to accommodate their feelings.
Jillian began the video by making her stance clear on the matter. She said, "I am not and will never be a gentle parent." She went on to explain her choice in detail, saying that she doesn't have gentle children and, therefore, that style of parenting simply won't work for her.
She continued by explaining that she's a loud parent because, as a mother of three, she needs to communicate at the volume her living situation requires. However, she was sure to mention that while her voice may be blaring at times, she's not rude, cruel, or hostile toward her children.
Jillian Believes Gentle Parenting Gives Children a False Sense of Advantage
Jillian says she refuses to stoop to a child's level by constantly babying them or avoiding firm communication because she believes it may give them a false sense of power. She said, "Gentle parents are like, 'Get down on their level.'" She continued, "Absolutely not! I'm not meeting them on home field advantage."
She went on to say that she will absolutely yell across the house to get her children's attention if that's what is required. Jillian explained that it saves time and ensures everyone gets the message loud and clear.
She said another thing gentle parents encourage is validating a child's feelings. She has no problem doing that, she explained, but still expects her children to comply with her requests. She said, "Validate their feelings: Oh, I validate it. Yes, I know you're mad. Now put on your pants!"
Jillian explained further, "I love my kids. I respect their feelings. We talk things through. But sometimes, that gentle parenting script just leaves my body."
Essentially, she's a parent who understands her children's feelings but also won't allow herself to become a doormat to appease them. She believes she's the parent and the adult and will act as such in the relationship.
She concluded, "Sometimes parenting is just loving your children very deeply while also yelling, 'Why are you naked? We leave in five minutes!'"
Reactions to the video post were mixed, as some commenters absolutely agreed with her, while others said gentle parenting can work depending on the child. One commenter said that gentle parenting produces entitled children. They wrote, "Gentle parenting is ruining kids. . . I don't know any kids who are gentle parented that are well behaved. . . and not completely entitled."
Another commenter said that they weren't raised by gentle parents and they turned out great. They wrote, "That's how we were raised and we all turned out pretty good."
A separate commenter said gentle parenting worked well with one child, but not the other. They wrote, "Gentle parenting worked really well with my first. Second child? Now that's a different story."
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the events described by Jillian Gerhardt. The account is based on the video shared by TikTok creator @jilliangerhardt.
