A Reddit post shared to r/aitaweddings described a bride-to-be's decision to prohibit her bridesmaid's boyfriend from attending her wedding after he repeatedly mocked her and her fiancé for how much they were spending on the event.
The bride, who wrote the post, began by saying that one of her bridesmaids had also been one of her closest friends for years. She explained that this friend had a boyfriend who, over the past few months, had made a habit of jeering at how costly her wedding was. He also remarked that they were going to all that expense for just "one day."
The bride said she ignored the jokes because he was entitled to his opinion. But she would soon learn that it wasn't an isolated incident—he was just getting started.
She said they were all hanging out together over the weekend when the bridesmaid and her boyfriend were present. He brought up the expense of the wedding again, this time joking that he was only there for the free food and drinks. He went even further, saying that he thought weddings were boring and that he might leave early.
For the sake of her friend, the bride said she awkwardly tried to laugh off the comment. But the bridesmaid's boyfriend pressed further and asked how much she and her fiancé were paying for the wedding. When she refused to disclose the figure, he ended by saying, "Whatever it is, you'll probably regret it when you could've used that money for something useful."
The bride no longer felt comfortable with him being at the wedding
The bride confessed that his last statement actually hurt her. She and her fiancé had spent months planning the wedding and were paying for everything out of pocket. They didn't ask friends or family to help pay for it, which made the event that much more special to them.
And with that, her patience had finally run out.
She said she told her friend privately that, after her boyfriend's incessant mocking, she had decided she no longer wanted him to attend the wedding. However, she told her friend that she was still welcome to attend as her bridesmaid.
The bride explained that she didn't want to spend her wedding day worrying about someone sitting in the congregation and secretly mocking everything she and her fiancé had worked hard for.
But instead of understanding her point of view, her friend got upset and said she was forcing her to choose between attending the wedding as her bridesmaid and her boyfriend. She defended her boyfriend, saying that he was simply joking around and that the bride was taking his comments too personally.
Her friend eventually considered not attending the wedding as her bridesmaid at all, which came as a shock to the bride. She said she never intended to sacrifice a close friendship over the situation and had been considering tolerating her friend's boyfriend for those few hours in order to preserve their friendship.
On the other hand, she said she had been tolerating his disrespect for months in an effort to keep the peace because she didn't want to come across as being too difficult. But after his latest comment, she felt he had gone too far and that she had to take action.
In reacting to the post, many commenters agree that she's not wrong for her decision to leave her bridesmaid's boyfriend out of the wedding. One commenter said she should talk to the bridesmaid about being responsible for shutting down her boyfriend's rude comments, instead of defending him.
They wrote, "You need to have a conversation with her about its her job to shut him down when he makes these 'jokes' that no one finds funny. He's being a d**k, yes, and it's probably coming from a place of insecurity, but is this worth losing a friendship over? NTA if you don't want him there but you'll likely lose a friend."
Another commenter said if the bridesmaid chooses her boyfriend over their friendship, that would answer her questions. She wrote, "If she chooses him, then you have your answer. Why should you host someone who is this disrespectful? Nta."
A separate commenter said that if her friend doesn't see anything wrong with her boyfriend's insensitive jokes, then it may be a sign of their friendship coming to a natural end.
They wrote, "NTA. Your friend considers his behaviour to be nothing of consequence although you are telling her how much this is hurting you. She is obviously used to his casual cruelty, which is of concern in itself. Save yourself the cost of him being there. But it may end up costing you more than you are willing to pay if it also costs you this friendship.Sometimes, friendships just come to a natural end when the focus shifts to a life you are building with a significant other."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the post, which are based solely on the author's account shared on r/aitaweddings.
