A 29-year-old man recently took to Reddit to describe how he felt after receiving a message from his ex-girlfriend eight months after their two-year relationship ended. Originally posted under the subreddit r/BoyDinnerDiaries by user el_grouchie, in the post, he described the events leading up to their breakup and how the man felt about his ex breaking no-contact.
The Redditor explained that he and his ex-girlfriend had been planning to move in together after the woman relocated to a new city to pursue her master's degree. After being unemployed for six months following graduation, the man secured a job after his girlfriend told him their relationship could end if he did not find work.
Shortly after, his ex-girlfriend briefly ended the relationship via text. She later said her mother had convinced her to end the relationship. They reconciled the next morning.
“...I locked in and got a job in an industry I didn't want to go back to but had connections in a month later. I worked so hard. Saved as much as I could, even skipping out on meals or just eating ramen. Unfortunately she decided to break up with me out of nowhere through text. It was a terrible night but she came back the following morning and said she said her mother talked her into it by saying she was too young to settle down and that she would meet someone better at her new school.”
“She told me that she regretted it immediately and we got back together.”
However, as the couple’s schedules became more demanding, their relationship began to change.
“We continued dating. Things got better. I continued saving money so I could move and she started school. As her school workload increased she got more and more distant. That made sense to me. I expected it. We still talked throughout the day. We still had a weekly date night. I even went over and visited her for our anniversary. We had such a lovely time and everything seemed to be coming together. After the trip though things changed again. She got meaner. Started saying these awful things about me and my body. I finally confronted her about it after a few weeks. She broke up with me right there.”
The woman said she felt overwhelmed, and wanted to remain friends. However, the man declined.
Following the breakup, the man said he focused on moving forward by securing an apartment, improving his physical health, building a new social network and resuming dating. Months later, he received a text notification from his ex while leaving work. Rather than immediately opening the message, he waited until the following day.
“We've spent eight months not talking, what's one more day? That next day after I got home from work I finally opened it. Deleted. Don't know how long it was left on delivered before she deleted it. Don't know what it said. Don't know why she sent it.”
Redditors Urge Man to Block Ex After Her Deleted Text Reopens Old Wounds
The man said the deleted message left him with more questions and he now can't help but think it would have provided him some kind of closure.
“Feels like I got all the drawbacks of an ex reaching out with none of the benefits. Just more unanswered questions.”
The post drew hundreds of comments, many from Redditors who'd faced similar situations.
One Redditor wrote, “Hey man, you seem like a pretty kind dude. From what all I read, she's already been mean to you multiple times and her parents are wayyyy too involved in her dating life. She gave you an ultimatum based on her parents feelings about your employment even. You can do better than her and you deserve better. Block her number and continue growing as a person and grinding at your job. The right one will come along she ain't it.”
Another commenter wrote, “Whatever she sent, she is still not sure or else she wouldn't have had second thoughts and delete it. Even if it was on read. If what she sent was some sort of "let's get back in touch" or 'worse' it would be very normal for you to read it and then take time to let it sink in. So whatever she wrote... I don't believe her heart was really in it. Or it was some stupid thing like checking if you could send her money or some shit. Be careful. Whatever you do, don't message her you saw it etc. Let it be.. you seem to be doing good now!”
“She wants you to reach out to her and I don’t think you should. Clearly she has a lot going on but you’ve found peace and don’t need someone that’s so hot and cold to come disturb it,” said another user.
Another commenter argued, “She's already demonstrated today she'll dump you whenever things get difficult. Marriage and life will ALWAYS get difficult at times. You deserve a partner that will stick by you in the difficult times. Block her number. And live your life.”
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in the post, which are based solely on the Redditor’s account shared in r/BoyDinnerDiaries by user el_grouchie.
