A 32-year-old man shared his plight in a Reddit post about his fiancée’s sister wanting to move in with them in their one-bedroom apartment. The post, shared in r/AITAH, was titled, “AITAH for telling my fiancée's sister she can't move in with us after her brother stayed for 9 months?” and drew 95 comments as of publication.
The man started his post by writing that he lived in a one-bedroom apartment of about 560 square feet with his fiancée. Her brother moved in with them in February and was leaving the following week. He said the brother was supposed to stay with their other sister, but since they didn't get along, he ended up staying with the couple instead.
Even before the brother moved out, the sister wanted to move in right after he left so she could rent out her own apartment and save money to move to another country. According to the man, this wasn't a necessity; it was a choice. “She says that she is tired of our country and has nothing here (she has a lease, a job, and most importantly, absolutely no savings),” he wrote.
The man later added that his fiancée’s sister told him she would stay with them for only a few weeks. However, he later learned from his fiancée that she would be there until January or February of the following year. “By my math, it would realistically take longer: she would need a deposit plus a few months of buffer, and she won't hear back on her job applications until somewhere between December and February. The plan also depends on three things all going right: she gets a job, her tenant works out, and her savings are enough. If any of them fail, our home is the fallback.”
The man wrote that the sister tends to make big decisions quickly and that the details of her plans change a lot, so he didn't trust her timeline. “She has other options (her dad lives in the country she wants to move to, though she doesn't want to live ‘in the woods’), and I've helped her financially several times before.”
He stressed that he wanted his home back to himself and his fiancée, without anyone else living there. He said he messaged the sister directly, telling her he wanted his home back with just him and his fiancée, and that he did so as politely as possible. Later, the sister got angry with him for going back on his word.
The man concluded by writing, “I honestly don’t care much that I did go back, and I know she didn’t give me the full information and that’s why I said no, but I honestly do not wish to go tit for tat with her. She is also hung up on it being wrong that I did it over text ‘since we’re family’, but honestly, I felt so tired that I just wanted to send a text and forget. So I rescinded the offer and wished her good luck. Honestly, I feel so gaslighted.”
One commenter questioned, “NTA but this is your gfs issue to manage. And she can't throw you under the bus. Are you sure you wanna marry into this drama?” Another wrote, “NTA. So, wait. She wants to move into YOUR little apartment so she can rent out her own apartment. The apartment she can live in. Not for a few weeks, but for at least 3 MONTHS. Just so she can save money for something that may never happen? What is your fiancé saying about this? Why is he letting people doing this? Do you have a fiancé problem?”
Someone else also warned the user about his fiancée and wrote, “NTA, but I’m not sure you understand that the big problem here is your girlfriend, and her willingness to lie to you.” Another user wrote, “You said yes to ‘a few weeks’. She told your fiancé three or four months. You are not going back on your word. You are declining to change the plan.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims made in the thread. The details reflect accounts shared by users in r/AITAH. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.
