Four days ago, The Date Doctor (@corytalksnow), who happens to be a TikTok dating expert, spoke about some first-date expectations. He argues that a man who is highly attracted to a woman would usually not choose coffee as his first move.
Some viewers agreed that genuine interest should come with more effort, and others defended casual meetups as a practical way to get to know someone.
In the clip, the creator says he does not know a man, professionally or personally, who would look at the woman of his dreams and think, “Imma take her to get some coffee.”
He argued that men spend money on people they value and would be embarrassed to suggest coffee to someone they genuinely want to impress. The video’s overlay claims: “If he’s highly attracted to you, coffee probably isn’t his first move.”
@corytalksnow In dating, a man’s level of attraction can influence how much effort he puts into planning a first date. A coffee date isn’t automatically a bad sign, but if he consistently chooses low-effort dates, never plans anything more intentional, and gives you little indication that he’s genuinely interested, pay attention. #datingadvice #datingtipsforwomen #datingadviceforwomen #moderndating #firstdate
♬ original sound - The Date Doctor ?❤️
The post has 38,900 likes and over 2,500 comments. But people's reactions show how differently they approach first dates. Some agreed with the creator. One commenter described coffee dates as 'low effort, low interest,' while another said a man who truly wanted to impress someone would take her to a nice dinner.
Others, however, weren't as convinced. "Coffee is the interview," one commenter explained, saying that meeting for coffee allows two people to decide whether they are interested without committing to an expensive meal. Another said they would never agree to a two-hour dinner with someone they had never met in person.
Several women said they particularly prefer coffee or another short first date. One explained that she wants to know within five to 10 minutes whether there is a connection. Another said she prefers drinks or appetizers because she can quickly leave if the date does not go well.
Commenters also suggested alternatives to both coffee and dinner, with some preferring activities like bowling or laser tag that naturally spark conversation.
The cost of a date also came up repeatedly. One commenter said she would rather spend $20 or $30 on a first date than expect someone to spend $200 or $300 before they know if there is mutual interest.
Meanwhile, a user's shared story challenged the creator's idea that an expensive first date is the only predictor of long-term interest. She said her husband took her to Burger King on their first date and they had been married for 15 years. Another said she met her partner for coffee, went on a weekend getaway two weeks later, and they are still together six years later.
