TikTok user @anabolea shared her thoughts on what it is like to date men she describes as emotionally “stupid” in a viral video. The video has received 1.9 million views and 1,917 comments.
“Because I truly believe that the worst thing that can happen to you as a woman is dating a man that's emotionally stupid,” she begins.
@anabolea, whose real name is Ana, goes on to explain what she believes can happen when one partner struggles with emotional self-reflection.
“When you get into a relationship and you get into an argument with a man like that, he's not able to self-reflect. He's always the victim in every single scenario. F--- being smart. I would rather date someone that's intellectually stupid than to date a man that's emotionally stupid. Because this will ruin your entire relationship. Trust me,” she says.
@_anabolea_ I said what I said #relationshipadvice #emotionalintelligence #fyp
♬ original sound - jojo.aitools
Women share their own relationship experiences in the comments
Several women responding to Ana’s video shared experiences they said were similar to what she described.
“‘I don’t even know what I did,’ even after I clearly explained what he did,” one user wrote, describing something her partner would say.
Another user shared her experience of being in a relationship with someone she said becomes defensive whenever she expresses that she is upset.
“I’m in love with a man like this. Every time I say I’m upset he takes it as a personal attack and gets defensive. It crushes me. But he’s perfect in every other way and it’s taken my 30 odd years to find a spark with someone. I don’t know what to do, it’s not always so easy,” she wrote.
The discussion also turned toward emotional intelligence and whether it should be taught to children.
“Emotional intelligence really needs to be the focus on what we teach our children. Without it, you will always struggle at anything else you try to achieve in life,” one commenter wrote.
Other users described disagreements they have had with their partners.
“‘I just can’t do anything right, huh?! Nothing is ever good enough for you!’ Meanwhile I asked that our conversations not turn circular when I bring up an issue,” another user wrote.
Ana’s video prompted commenters to share their own experiences with partners they said struggled with communication, self-reflection or defensiveness.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims shared by commenters on @anabolea’s TikTok video, which are based on their personal experiences with partners they said struggled with communication, defensiveness and emotional self-reflection.
