TikTok creator @shazmeeraqadri shared a video offering women tips on maintaining healthy relationships with their in-laws. The video, posted on June 24, had 20,300 likes at the time of publication.
The woman began with her first tip: Always act as a guest. She said that when in-laws visit your home, they are guests, and when you visit their home, you are a guest. For women living with their in-laws, she advised that unless their names were physically on the deed, which did not include their husband's name or the name of the child they planned to have, they did not need to do everyone's housework.
She added, “You do not need to be mopping the floor; you do not need to be doing everyone else’s housework.” She also advised women not to go out of their way to do housework. The TikTok creator explained, “You are not their daughter, and they are not your parents.”
The woman said that because women don't decenter their own parents, they may start doing so with their in-laws. “That will also include his siblings and everybody else’s siblings. This gets really messy really fast, especially if you have extended in-laws with a large number of opinions.”
She reiterated that women may visit their extended in-laws and go out of their way to be active members of the household rather than guests, eventually taking on chores. “If you live like an appliance, then you will be remembered like one.”
The TikTok user said the family members might not appreciate the women's hard work, leaving them resentful. They might eventually start arguing with their partners, who could respond that they never asked them to do the work. The creator added that the problem was that they had not actually been asked to do the work.
The TikTok creator said that if women started out as visitors, they would not follow that pattern. “Because so much of your life you have been told that your husband is God. His parents are your parents; you start treating them as such." So because the logic is not the same for both people, you are going to have a lot of problems.”
At the end of the video, the creator reiterated that women should treat their in-laws like guests and should not do everything they ask. “You are allowed to say no. You are welcome to say I’m not available.”
One commenter wrote, “I have the healthiest relationship with my in-laws. The key? Never speak. Christmas cards only.” Another wrote, “If his parents are my parents then I’ll be getting up at 10am cause that’s when i get up in my parents house.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the events described in the video. The details above reflect @shazmeeraqadri’s account as shared on TikTok. The identities of the commenters have not been confirmed.
