“It Kills Me”: Woman Says She Never Came Out to Her Father Before His Death

A woman on Reddit is having major regrets about not having a conversation with her father before his passing, and now it’s a little too late.

Reddit user u/High_Ground05 took to the r/GirlDinnerDiaries subreddit to share a hard truth and that is that she never told her father, “I’m your daughter, not your son.” The Redditor explained that she lost her father around May 2026 and never sat down with him to fully come out. Now, she says it “kills” her knowing “he’ll never get the chance to know.”

Why the Woman Never Told Her Father She Was His Daughter, Not His Son

Based on the brief background u/High_Ground05 provided, it sounds like her relationship with her father wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t perfect. “Our relationship was never bad but the last few years it's been fairly surface level,” she explained, adding, “I planned on improving our relationship before coming out but that's gone out the window.”

The discussion she hoped to have with him never happened. While she said she wasn’t even sure “if he’d accept it,” it still “kills” her that “he’ll never get the chance to know now.”

While u/High_Ground05 physically can’t have this conversation with her father now, many users took to the comments to reassure her that he knows. One commenter wrote, “He knows now. And I'm sure he's in the afterlife watching you and proud of the woman you're allowing the rest of the world to finally see”. “He knows, he knows,” another user added.

Many responses reflected spiritual beliefs about staying connected to loved ones after death. And it sounds like many commenters believe the original poster’s father is well aware of her truth and smiling down on her. A third commenter wrote, “Idk if you believe in heaven but if so he’s watching down on you every day and knows. And I am sure he’d love you regardless!!!! So sorry for your loss”.

Another user described how sad her story is but also shared how “beautiful” it is, adding that they were “proud” of her for now living her truth.

Others, however, offered advice based on what they’ve done when they wanted to connect with a loved one who was no longer with them. One person shared that they talk to their loved ones randomly throughout the day, whether they’re walking their dog or just going about their routine. Another suggested the original poster write her father a letter to get everything out on paper.

Either way, the poster received a lot of love and support from commenters, which probably helped.