A TikTok posted by creator @amandanelz on Oct. 12, 2026, challenges social media advice about what makes a good marriage. The video had received about 263,100 views and 48,900 likes at the time of publication.
The TikToker says she has been married for almost 14 years and feels qualified to discuss the expectations couples face. She questions advice that treats anything less than constant fascination with a spouse as evidence that something is wrong.
She describes periods when partners are excited about each other, go on dates and enjoy their sex life. Other times involve exhaustion, a sick child or frustration over someone forgetting to unload the dishwasher. “That is not a bad marriage,” she says, calling that situation an ordinary Tuesday rather than a reason to question the relationship.
The TikToker recalls meeting her husband while she was receiving food stamps. They experienced financial hardship together, later made more money and changed careers. “We have been broke together. We have made money together,” she recalled. She also describes how they have been many different people throughout their relationship.
She credits their marriage’s longevity to how they handled difficult financial stretches and uneventful periods. Neither partner treated those times as an emergency, rather than expecting every day to bring excitement. The creator asks viewers to consider how much two people could change over a 50-year marriage. In her view, neither partner would remain the person they were at the beginning.
Her husband now joins her on stages and in the studio while supporting her music career. She considers herself different from the woman he originally asked to marry. The goal is not to find someone who never changes, according to the creator. “It’s about finding somebody that you actually wanna keep meeting,” she said.
She says each partner should have a willingness to know the other’s changing versions. For her, continuing to welcome those changes is part of staying together. The TikToker also recalls seeing a reel about refusing criticism from someone without relevant accomplishments. She applies that idea to marriage advice, questioning why people listen to someone whose marriage they would not want themselves.
She criticizes advice from people who have never married or whose marriages she describes as failing. She asks why those people should guide someone else’s expectations about a spouse.
One viewer questioned using an AI chatbot to settle disagreements. “AND CHATGPT!!!!” a commenter wrote. “People keep asking chat gpt [sic] about their fights and chat gpt [sic] is meant to agree with you!!”
One reply described a couple trying to preserve their relationship through difficulty. “13 years together and 9 years married,” a commenter wrote. “We are in the HARDEST season of our marriage right now but we are both fighting to stay together.”
One other commenter recalled marrying young and continuing to choose the relationship. “27 years old. Been married 7 years, together 10,” a commenter wrote. The commenter described hardships and growth that they believed other couples would not have endured. “It has been HARD,” the commenter added. “But we chose every day to love and be there even if we don’t ‘feel’ it.”
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the experiences described in this TikTok. The details above reflect @amandanelz’s account as shared on TikTok. Her identity, her marriage history, and the commenters’ usernames have not been confirmed.
