Woman Asks If She Was Wrong to Tell Daughter Her Birth Mother ‘Loved Drugs More Than Her’

A post in r/AmItheAsshole describes a woman asking whether she was wrong to tell her niece, whom she has raised since age three, that her birth mother "didn't love her more than drugs" and that this was why the two were kept apart.

The woman wrote that she has raised her niece, who she refers to as her daughter, since the child was removed from her biological mother's custody by the state.

She wrote that her sister was deemed an unfit parent after living in what the poster described as a drug house. The woman wrote that the family had shared stories with her niece about her birth mother's life before addiction and believed the reasons for their separation were understood.

The woman wrote that when her niece was 14, her sister attempted to reconnect with the family and appeared to be sober. After meeting with her sister, the woman wrote that she "didn't like what I saw," and decided to keep her niece away from her.

Her sister then contacted her niece without her knowledge and attempted to pick her up from school. Around six months later, according to the post, her sister stole from their shared mother and relapsed into drug use, though she continued to contact her niece by text occasionally. The woman wrote that her niece was in therapy throughout this period.

When her niece was 17, the woman wrote, her sister died of an overdose. She enrolled her niece in grief counseling, and her niece first saw her birth mother in person at the viewing after asking to attend.

The woman wrote that her niece, now 20 and in college, has continued to express anger over never having known her birth mother. During an argument, her niece said she wished she could eat with her birth mother instead, blaming her aunt for preventing them from meeting.

The woman responded by telling her niece that her birth mother "didn't love her more than drugs and that is why she never met her."

Several replies focused on the toll the situation has taken on the original poster herself. One commenter wrote, "If the therapist is advising OP to go low contact with her daughter, then the situation is already that bad. It's not wrong to choose yourself right now so you can heal. If you don't it will break you."

Others cautioned against relying only on people close to the situation for guidance. One person wrote, "Only your friends and close family can give you advice on this. I would say friends and close family can give support and a sympathetic ear. But not necessarily advice — they're probably too biased."

Another voted against therapy. They wrote, "I just read an article in the NY Times about therapists encouraging children and parents to cut off contact and how this is being damaging to families and how many highly educated psychiatrists and counselors are against this type of advice."

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in this Reddit post. The details above reflect the original poster's account as shared in r/AmItheAsshole. The identities of those involved have not been confirmed.