TikTok user @becominghim47 is sharing his perspective on dating single mothers, explaining why they may approach relationships differently from women without children. In his video, he breaks down two things he believes people should understand before pursuing a relationship with a single mom. At the time of publication, the video had 627,100 views and 2,660 comments.
The creator, who goes by BecomingHim on TikTok, says he wants viewers to understand that single mothers aren't necessarily looking for someone to become a stepfather. "So stop being scared and just go on the date," he says.
According to BecomingHim, there are two important things people should know about dating single mothers. The first, he explains, is that they may approach relationships with a different perspective.
"When you're a young single man and super risk-oriented, you see things a lot more transactionally. They're working on an entirely different timeline. They're thinking long term. They're thinking in the term of everything that they do. They're thinking about it in term of investing. While you're thinking about things as transactionally, they're not processing, oh, I see boy, I see father. That's the way that you see things. That's not the way that these women see that," he says.
His second point is that single mothers may have higher standards because they have a child to consider when deciding who they bring into their lives.
"You're not just gonna walk in and go on a date and all of a sudden become a stepdad. They have much higher standards because they have an entire human to think about and you being around that human, maybe at some point, the prospect of it. 'Cause most of them don't even want you to meet their kids early on. And you're gonna have to earn that. But most of them are not trying to do that," he says.
Single mothers in the comments appreciated his perspective
Several commenters who identified themselves as single mothers agreed with the creator's point about keeping dating and parenting separate, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
"It's weird to me how some guys can't figure out how dating for us works. It's pretty simple. Date me and please don't meet my kids. They don't need to know you and I want to go out to dinner without them," one commenter wrote.
"Cuz no one is gonna meet my son unless we've been in a committed relationship with a label for over a year," another user said.
One commenter also praised the creator for understanding the boundaries single mothers may want to maintain when dating.
"As a divorced single mom, 10/10 to whoever raised you!! Couldn't have said it better," the user wrote.
Introducing a new partner to children can be a significant decision, particularly when children already have an involved father and their parents are divorced. For some single parents, taking time before making that introduction is an important boundary.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the opinions shared by TikTok creator @becominghim47, which are based on his personal perspective about dating single mothers in the video.
