A TikTok video posted by @ciearratati, which has amassed close to 815,000 views and 3,364 comments, describes a woman's preference for high-maintenance friendships. She explained that she believes real friendships are supposed to involve that level of closeness. Ciearra said her friends' needs and concerns are never too much for her to handle, and she would much rather have close, familiar friendships than distant ones.
Ciearra began by saying that once she considers someone a friend, they're never too high-maintenance for her because she will make time for them if they need to talk or video chat. Even if she just met someone the day before and they want to see her again, she doesn't mind because, in her view, that's what friends are for.
@ciearratati Friendships are supposed to be like this, I thought? It’s never too high maintenance for me boo #friendships #highmaintenancefemale #friends
♬ original sound - Ciearra Tati
She said, "No, you're not acting like I'm your boyfriend. No, it's not too high-maintenance. No, I don't feel like you're smothering me." Ciearra continued by explaining that this level of closeness is exactly what she wants in a friendship because she thrives on the connection she has with the people she considers friends.
She explained, "This is literally what I want. I literally want to do life with human beings." She went on to say that she doesn't consider a friendship one where you barely see each other throughout the year. Instead, she believes real friends should naturally see each other more often, and she said she actually looks forward to spending time with her friends.
Ciearra stated, "No, I don't want to see you every quarter of the year. I wanna see you way more than that, actually. Why are we doing quarterly meetings? What is this, a business or a friendship?" Ciearra believes many people view real friendships as "high-maintenance" because they are used to giving and accepting the bare minimum.
Ciearra Says Close Friendships Don't Always Require Elaborate Plans
Ciearra continued by saying that spending time together doesn't always have to involve meticulously planned activities such as going to a club, restaurant or shopping. She said simply spending time together at home still counts as hanging out, whether that means sitting on the couch, doing each other's hair or just existing in the same space without talking.
"You can be on your phone, I'll be on my phone. You can do your thing, I'll do my thing. You can be in the living room, I can be in my bedroom," she said.
She said her friends never have to worry about asking her for more because she also needs more from the friendship. Ciearra argued that modern friendships are lacking when it comes to genuine investment and said she wants the kind of friendships where people can be comfortable simply being around each other.
She concluded by saying that women need to bring back the simplicity of friendships, such as braiding each other's hair while listening to a favorite song. She said the simple activities that friends enjoy together are what she believes is missing from many friendships today.
Reactions to the video focused mainly on the fact that low-maintenance relationships are lacking and shouldn't be normalized. Many of the commenters agreed on her need for high-maintenance friendships. One commenter wrote, "Low maintenance friendships are so boring! Barely talk, don't hang out, never visit each other's homes. I just go with the flow but it gets to a point where I don't wanna be friends anymore."
Another commenter said that being busy has become an excuse in most friendships. She wrote, "Idk why we've normalized 'low-maintenance' friendships. Yes life can get busy but it gets to a point where that's an excuse."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims or opinions shared in the video, which are based solely on @ciearratati's account and perspective on friendships shared on TikTok.
