‘No Wonder Why No One Dated You in High School’: A Woman’s Post About Her New Boyfriend’s Comments Has the Comment Section Urging Her to Leave

A woman in a new relationship shared a Reddit post on r/GirlDinnerDiaries that described a series of comments that left her questioning whether attraction was clouding her judgment. In the post, she said she recently spent a weekend camping with a man she had been seeing, where they talked a lot and used marijuana. She later shared old high school photos with him to show how much she had changed.

The poster herself acknowledged that she looked “very different” in high school and was deeply insecure at the time. She said she had short hair, wore vintage clothing and costume glasses, and often felt unattractive and unwanted. But the man she is seeing said he was glad she no longer looked that way and that it was “no wonder why no one dated you in high school.” That comment brought back painful feelings for her.

“I immediately shut down and started crying,” she wrote, and added that nearly a week later, she was still thinking about it.

The woman was also concerned as she described other comments and behaviors that had made her uncomfortable. She said the man believes women who get an abortion are avoiding responsibility and repeatedly told her, while they were swimming, “I’m gonna drown you.” She said he may have intended the comments as jokes, though she said she remained uneasy about them.

The poster wrote that despite being 'wildly physically attracted' to him, she did not like his personality. She thought he was immature and said she had recognized “a (…) ton of red flags.”

Commenters largely urged her to reconsider the relationship. One commenter listed the man's comments about her appearance, his views on abortion, and the drowning remarks, asking directly why she was still seeing him. Another commenter, apparently referencing physical details from the original post, wrote that there were 'a lot of other chubby men out there' who would not be 'picking at her insecurities' or joking about killing her.

Commenters' concerns also align with established guidance about unhealthy relationships. The American Psychological Association defines emotional abuse as repeated nonphysical behavior that can include verbal abuse, intimidation, humiliation, degradation, and rejection. On the other hand, the National Domestic Violence Hotline similarly lists insults, humiliation, intimidation, and threats to hurt someone as potential warning signs of emotional abuse that can damage self-esteem. In some relationships, that might even lead to physical violence.

However, that alone does not make the poster’s date abusive; the account is only one person’s description of events.