Man Says He’s Considering Divorce After Wife Allegedly Hits Him With a Metal Cord During Argument: Internet Urges Him To Rethink

On the r/Marriage subreddit, a user shared that his difficult marriage had led him to consider divorce and question whether he and his wife should remain together for the sake of their children. In the post, the 39-year-old man said he wanted to divorce his wife after nine years of marriage, citing emotional distance and ongoing mistrust.

The OP later added that there had been a physical altercation.

The man, u/Ok-Company5373, noted that the couple had a comfortable lifestyle, with a big house, nice cars, good incomes and children. Yet he explained that he was deeply unhappy. "You would think we have a perfect life," he wrote. "I've never been so miserable."

His trust in his wife began to decline several years ago, after he found texts between her and an ex that he considered sexual in nature. While his wife maintained that nothing had happened beyond the messages, the OP said he had struggled to trust her ever since. He also mentioned a lack of emotional and physical intimacy, saying the couple spent very little time together and mostly lived in separate rooms.

He wrote that he couldn't remember the last time, in five years, that he had come home from work and his wife had asked how his day had been. He also said neither of them had said "I love you" for at least three years and described their relationship as being like that of roommates.

He acknowledged that his wife worked night shifts three times a week and had trouble sleeping. His retired parents therefore looked after the children so she could rest. He also said his wife had experienced several family bereavements and was taking antidepressants and antipsychotics. However, he did not believe these circumstances alone explained the difficulties the couple were experiencing.

The tone of the post changed when the man described an argument a few weeks earlier, when the couple were closing their swimming pool. "She hit me with a metal cord," he wrote. Many commenters advised him to take the incident seriously and reconsider the marriage. Some stressed that physical violence should not be ignored because of existing relationship problems or the person who committed it.

Still, some commenters warned that Redditors did not know the wife's perspective on the marriage or whether important details had been omitted. The OP also worried that his parents might disagree with his decision, as he believed they thought couples should stay married for the sake of their children. He also acknowledged his own role in the troubled marriage.

Several commenters said children could also be affected by living in a household where there was constant unhappiness. Others recommended that the couple seek individual counseling and explore their options. The OP did not make a final decision in the post.

The OP said he shared his experience because he needed someone to listen. "I (...) just needed to get everything off my chest," he wrote.