Chronically online folks have been noticing a new trend among young women who bail on dates if the man doesn't take steps to confirm by a certain unspecified time.
A frustrated X user shared multiple screenshots from TikTok of young women saying variations of the same thing: "He didn't confirm the date day of so there will be no date."
"Ladies: if you say yes to a date, you've agreed to go on the date," wrote @allie_voss. "Playing games like 'he needs to confirm or it doesn't count!!!' because TikTok told you to is a really dumb way to waste your time."
Do people need to confirm a date the same day?
There are a couple different ways to look at this. If plans are up in the air or still up for debate, that's one thing. Wanting to have a firmly agreed upon time and place by the night before or even early the same day are completely reasonable.
But it seems that what's more likely to be causing drama is women feeling as if the date should be set ahead of time and then explicitly confirmed the day of. More than that, they are using it as a test for their potential date, expecting him to magically know they require an additional confirmation and making no effort to reach out and confirm themselves.
"This was silly of you and I am a gal who deserves the basic decency of you reaching out to let me know we're still on ahead of time," reads a follow up text from the woman in the above viral tweet. "You should be so excited the morning of our date you can't wait to reach out to me and let me know you're looking forward to it but that's the bare minimum and how I view it on what I deserve to find."
Is this really how dates work now?
The kneejerk reaction from a lot of people was confusion as to why anyone would go out of their way to make dating even more difficult by playing games like this.
But others suggested these reactions were likely earned due to men ghosting on planned dates, and that people on dating apps are sick of wasting their time.
Then again, a number of people pointed out that if someone is genuinely concerned about the other person flaking out, it doesn't take a herculean effort to be the one to reach out first.
Of course, this ultimately just begs the question of whether this is a problem with modern dating or a problem specifically brought on by dating apps in general.
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