Woman Shares 3 Rules for Making a Long-Distance Relationship Work, Including Planning Visits and Communicating: ‘This Is Expected’

A TikTok user is sharing her advice for maintaining a long-distance relationship. Chessie, whose video received more than 24,000 likes and 187 comments, shared her experience with her boyfriend and explained how small gestures help maintain their relationship while they are apart. She said these are expectations she and her boyfriend have set for their relationship.

In the video, Chessie discusses what she calls the ‘three-month rule’ for long-distance relationships. She said that after about 90 days together, couples may begin adjusting to the realities of a long-distance relationship. Drawing from her own experience, she shared three rules she believes can help couples maintain their connection.

First, she encourages everyone to have their next visit planned. Not knowing when you will see your partner again can add to the stress of a long distance relationship. She said having a visit planned gives couples something to look forward to and reassurance that they will see each other again.

Her second rule focuses on communication. She said staying in contact can help couples feel close while they are apart. She said she and her boyfriend have found ways to make their communication more intentional. She uses an app that sends a message straight to his phone’s lockscreen so it is the first thing he sees when he wakes up. Rather than sending a typical good morning message, they use the app to send each other more personalized messages. She said she and her boyfriend expect this level of communication and encouraged other couples to find what works for them.

Lastly, she recommends overcommunicating. If something is bothering you, she recommends talking about it rather than letting it fester. She said this can help address problems before they become more serious.

She also reminded viewers that the long-distance phase is not permanent. She encouraged couples to stay motivated and continue putting effort into their relationships while they are apart.

Commenters shared different experiences with long-distance relationships

The video drew comments from viewers sharing their own experiences. Everyone’s long-distance relationship is different. Some commenters said they had been together for years without ever meeting in person. Others said they had been separated for four years and were unsure how to navigate the distance.

Other commenters agreed with her advice, writing, “Being long-distance for 4 and a half years has taught me that it takes a lot of time, patience, and effort, but communication is the biggest key. If something is bothering you or needs to be talked about, bring it up. Don’t let problems sit because they’ll only get bigger. Change is going to happen, and both people have to be willing to grow and make changes when they’re needed.”

Both Chessie and commenters who agreed with her advice encouraged couples to stay committed while they are apart.