A 30-year-old Reddit user shared the challenges she was facing postpartum. She revealed that her husband’s family was about to visit the U.S., and her husband had agreed to accompany his father to a company offsite in another city for four days. What upset her was that she was still recovering and he was ready to leave her with their newborn. The post, shared on Nov. 10, drew 60 comments as of publication.
The woman started the post by writing that her father-in-law was visiting from India and had an offsite in another city. Her in-laws wanted her husband to accompany his father on the four-day trip, and her husband had agreed. He said that his father could not manage everything alone because he was visiting from India and was unfamiliar with the U.S.
The woman questioned, “I understand that traveling in an unfamiliar country can be challenging, but does that automatically mean he cannot handle an office-related visit independently?” She added that her mother-in-law was also accompanying them, which she questioned, given that it was an office-related trip for her father-in-law. “She has another son’s family she could stay with.” To top it all, she said that they had a six-week-old newborn at home and she was still recovering postpartum.
Appreciating her husband, the woman also wrote that he had been actively involved in taking care of the newborn from 7:30 p.m. until 2 a.m., which allowed her to rest. However, she felt that his trip at this early postpartum stage should have been a decision they made together. “When I expressed my concerns, he said I’m on maternity leave, and my parents are staying with us, so I should be able to manage.”
She added, “My parents have been going above and beyond to help us with our newborn. I’m grateful for their support, but I don’t think their availability should automatically replace my husband’s responsibilities.” His statement that he was informing her rather than seeking her permission hurt her the most. “I wasn’t asking him to abandon his parents. I wanted him to acknowledge that I’m still recovering from childbirth and that we have a newborn who needs us.”
The woman also said she was hurt that her in-laws did not ask their son to stay home with his wife and newborn during this crucial phase. Instead, they wanted him to accompany them. She questioned whether she was being unreasonable for expecting her husband to stay with them or whether a four-day trip was understandable.
One commenter wrote, “Your husband is a failure as a husband and a father! He is a husband before he is a son. He is choosing to remain subservient to his parents instead of standing up for the family he has created. It seems there are cultural differences at play here, but his attitude is completely unforgivable. It is his responsibility to care for his nuclear family. What on earth would he do if you said to him I’m informing you that you are staying home, and I’m not seeking your permission to do so.”
Another commenter wrote, “When he objects to the divorce, make sure to tell him that ‘I'm informing you, not asking your permission.’" A third commenter wrote, “When he comes back, have a bag packed. ‘I'm going to my parents for a visit. I don't know how long, maybe a week, maybe 4, I haven't decided yet. BTW, I am informing you, not asking for permission.’ Then actually go. That's a disgusting thing to say to you. He deserves a Time Out!”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims in the post. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.
