Woman Asks Why Some Men Treat Wives Poorly After Marriage: ‘I Honestly Wish Someone Would Answer This’

A post shared to r/Arrangedmarriage on Oct. 29, 2026, asks why some men begin treating their wives poorly after marriage. The post had received 17 upvotes and 53 comments at the time of publication.

The original poster says she has seen men who were upset about not finding a bride treat their wives badly after the wedding. "Why does this sudden change in behaviour happens?" she asks, adding that not everyone behaves that way.

According to the poster, some husbands never stand up for their wives in front of their in-laws. They also take their parents' side privately, and she says she has personally heard men speak poorly about their wives to colleagues and others.

The Redditor says she can understand loving one's parents and finding it difficult to talk back to them. "But just think about the person who got married to you," the poster wrote. She asks whether those men feel any empathy.

Body shaming is another concern. The poster asks why a wife's body becomes an issue after marriage when her husband chose to marry her as she was, whether she was thin or fat. She acknowledges that the question may sound bad to some people and could draw criticism. "I honestly wish someone would answer this," the poster wrote.

One reply offered a brief explanation for why some marriages go wrong. "Because most of these dudes treat marriage like a thing they need to check off the list or cause mummy/daddy wants them to," a commenter wrote.

Another commenter addressed why a man may not stand by his wife against his parents. "The temperament to stand by your spouses' side against your parents has nothing to do with a guys [sic] desire to want a partner," the commenter wrote.

The commenter said that doing so requires courage, "atleast [sic] in our society." Marriage does not automatically create respect and love for a partner as an individual, they argued. "Just an attachment that comes with you in your house who you can push aside as convenient," the commenter wrote. "Hence all this immature chaos."

A reader questioned whether the early behavior was genuine. "It's much easier to put on a show of being understanding and empathetic in the beginning; if that's not who someone really is, then it'll fall apart quite quickly," they wrote.

The commenter said many women and men have experienced a complete change in a partner's behavior and personality. "I think it's more likely that it was just a performance to get someone to like you, not who you are as a person," they wrote.

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims described in the thread. The details above reflect the original poster's and commenters' accounts as shared on r/Arrangedmarriage. Their identities, usernames and locations have not been confirmed.