Widower Says He Wishes He Could Complain About His Late Wife’s Everyday Habits Again: ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’

A post shared to r/AskReddit on Oct. 21, 2026, asks married men to share one lesson unmarried men should know before getting married. The thread had more than 4,500 upvotes and 4,500 comments at the time of publication.

The original post asks, “Married men, what’s one thing unmarried men should know before getting married?”

One commenter discussed a difficult period in their long marriage. “I have been happily married for 20+ years now,” they wrote. They added “with complete honesty” that “the times that our marriage was stretched to the brink was when we brought each of our kids home from the hospital.” A mix of “life-upending change, hormones, lack of sleep, no kind of schedule or consistency” can strain even the best relationship in the world, adding "nevermind a foundering one!”

Another commenter discussed how both partners evolve over the years. “You’re going to change,” they wrote. “She’s going to change. Embrace change together, and try to make it a collective growth instead of a divergence.”

The commenter also advised developing a household culture that can change over time. “Not hard rules. Just those things that every family does differently.” They added, “Maybe because when it happened the first time it made you laugh, or it helped your Monday’s [sic] go by easier.”

Another commenter highlighted topics couples should discuss before getting married. “Make sure your partner is your favorite person,” they wrote. They advised discussing important topics, including finances, children and religion, and making sure the couple has “shared values or can at least respect the other person’s position.” They added, “Kicking the can down the road is just a recipe for problems later on.”

One commenter shared the loss of their wife and reflected on the things they miss about her. “Lost my Wife to cancer this year at 38,” they wrote. The commenter has two young daughters. “One thing you should know is that when you find the right person it is the greatest thing in the world.” They wrote, “I use [sic] to complain about my Wife always leaving doors open. Well I now live in a house where all the doors stay closed. Something I thought I wanted.” They added, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

The commenter explained that the habits people complain about in their partners may not be character flaws but rather endearing quirks. They said, “Trust me when you remove the person you love from doing them you’ll realize how much you miss it.” They ended the comment with a wish: “I’d get married to her all over again [...] just so I could walk in my kitchen and see those cabinet doors left open again.”

The Daily Dot could not independently verify the details described in these comments. The details above reflect the commenters’ accounts as shared on r/AskReddit. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.