Molly Rutter, who goes by @mollyrutteralso on TikTok, regularly shares stories about her dating life. In a recent video, she recounted a first date with a man who seemed extremely nervous and struggled to keep the conversation going. Molly said she quickly realized they were not a good match. The video received 11,000 likes and 296 comments at the time of writing.
@mollyrutteralso I just want someone who will bring as much of a vibe as me is that too much to ask?! ? #datingstorytime #firstdate #datefail #firstdatefail
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Molly began by explaining how the date came about. She and the man met on a dating app and decided to meet at a rooftop bar in Buffalo, New York. He was new to the area, and Molly said it was his first date since moving there. She was excited to show him around downtown Buffalo and went into the date expecting to have a good time.
That quickly changed once they met.
Molly said she could tell almost immediately that he was nervous. While she acknowledged that first dates can naturally make people uncomfortable, she felt that his nerves made it difficult for him to participate in the conversation. She tried to keep things moving, but said she felt like she was carrying the interaction while he rarely reacted or gave much back.
After leaving the rooftop bar, the two went to another location. The man mentioned that he was good at trivia, so Molly encouraged the bartender to ask him some questions. He answered them correctly, which helped other people at the bar interact with him, but Molly still felt that he was not bringing much energy to their date.
Things became more uncomfortable when Molly asked him what he thought of her. Instead of giving her the reassurance she was apparently hoping for, he simply said that he was enjoying himself.
By the end of the night, the two went their separate ways. He gave Molly a side hug before leaving, and she was left wondering why he had seemed unwilling to put more effort into the date. Looking back on the experience, she said it is funny to think about now.
The story sparked a debate among TikTok users, many of whom had strong opinions about how Molly handled the date.
Most Commenters Weren't Happy With How She Treated Her Date
Molly’s story divided viewers, but many commenters focused less on the man’s nervousness and more on how she approached the date. Some felt that asking someone what they thought of her after only a few hours put unnecessary pressure on him.
“What do you think of me is a HUGE question especially after only a few hours together,” one commenter wrote.
Another suggested that his behavior may have simply meant he was not interested but was trying to remain polite. “He absolutely was not interested but just trying to be polite. Asking for validation if they like you ON a first date is intense which is why he reacted as such,” they wrote.
Other commenters understood Molly’s frustration with having to carry the conversation. “It’s so insulting when they don’t ask any questions back… like oh you’re just here to talk about yourself,” one person wrote.
Another added, “The difference in your energies sounds lowkey so exhausting lol like you really tried your best and he was giving you nothing.”
Still, the overall response leaned critical of Molly. Several commenters felt she could have shown more compassion toward someone who was clearly nervous, while others questioned whether sharing an unflattering account of the date on TikTok so soon afterward was necessary.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the details of the date, which are based solely on Molly Rutter’s account shared on TikTok. While Rutter felt the man’s nervousness made the date difficult, commenters were divided over whether she was too critical of him.
