TikTok is full of dating advice, and @trinity.blair, who goes by Trinity, recently shared her take on how women can use their independence to make men feel valued. In a video, she explained why she encourages women to be confident and self-sufficient while also occasionally asking a man for a favor. The post received 545,100 views and 134 comments.
Trinity shared the advice while making her morning coffee, beginning by explaining that she believes she has figured out how men think.
“I have pretty much cracked a code at figuring out men psychologically, but there's something I wanted to show. I always teach you guys to be independent and confident, and that is for a reason,” she said.
According to Trinity, being independent can actually make a man feel more useful when a woman eventually asks him for help. She explained that if a woman establishes that she does not need a man to handle things for her, asking him to do a favor can make him feel as though she specifically chose him to help.
“So when this man sees, like, ‘oh my god, this girl's been so independent, she does not need me.’ Then you ask him to do you a favor. And when you ask him to do you this favor after you have been independent, baddie, I don't need you, I'm busy, he's going to feel like, ‘oh my god, this girl needs me. I have to do this favor for her.’ And he'll do the favor,” she said.
Trinity stressed that she does not believe women should give up their independence simply to get a man to do something for them. Instead, she framed it as a way of allowing a partner to feel useful and appreciated.
“You will make him like you more, because he's gonna be like, ‘I'm useful to this girl, but this girl chose me to do this, even though she said she could have done it herself,’” Trinity explained. She also advised women not to make too big a deal out of the favor. Instead, she suggested simply thanking the man and allowing him to feel valued for helping.
“Don't overreact when he does the favor for you. Just like, ‘oh my god, thank you so much.’ He's gonna feel so useful and valued. But that only works if you start by not needing him for every second,” she said.
The advice sparked a mixed reaction from viewers, with some claiming the approach had worked for them while others appeared more skeptical.
@trinity.blair Use with caution ⚠️ #advice #dating #relationships #boys #girlfriend
♬ original sound - Trinity Blair
Some Users Say It Works, While Others Question the Advice
Trinity’s video prompted viewers to share their own experiences with relationships and attraction. Some commenters said they had noticed similar dynamics in their relationships, while others asked Trinity for more dating advice.
"I can confirm this works & hes told me so many times since then he loves how independent i am & how i carry myself," said one user, though it did not seem to be an overwhelming consensus among commenters.
Another commenter said they seemed to attract men simply by being friendly and making jokes with them.
“Idek what im doing but every guy im nice to and make jokes around end up liking me like HELP,” they wrote.
Other commenters raised concerns about the potential consequences of treating dating like a psychological strategy. One commenter warned that while some people claim these methods work, there could be a downside to intentionally using them to influence someone's behavior.
The discussion ultimately showed that viewers had different interpretations of Trinity’s advice. While some saw asking for help as a healthy way to let a partner feel needed, others questioned whether deliberately using independence to create that feeling was the right approach.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the video, which are based solely on Trinity’s account shared on TikTok. While some viewers said they had experienced similar dynamics in their relationships, others questioned whether intentionally making a partner feel needed was the best approach.
