She Told Her Mom She Was Studying Abroad, Her Mom’s Response Sparked an Anxiety Spiral

A post shared to r/AITAH on Oct. 7, 2026, asks whether yelling profanity at a mother was wrong after a talk about going abroad to study. The post drew 10 comments at the time of publication.

The poster says they told their mother about plans to study abroad over dinner after she returned home that evening. Her expression became sad, and she said something "along the lines of, 'well, it's your choice.'" The poster told her the response had already made their day worse.

After some time, the mother told the OP, "Well, you can always come back if the things become unbearable." The poster wrote that the remark angered them. They told her she had undermined them all their lives by inventing worst-case scenarios.

They also recalled the medical school application period. Their mother said then that they lacked "the guts to become a doctor." The poster wrote that she "might have felt pressured" and left the kitchen.

The Redditor left some time later and heard a pot boiling over on the heater. The mother did not come to the kitchen. They went in instead, yelled profanity at her and asked where she had gone, and turned off the heater.

They then went to her room and calmly told her what happened. "I just fought off the massive anxiety spiral, but after this I felt like an abuser," they wrote. The poster acknowledged that anxiety may add to the pressure. "I understand that my anxiety probably amps up the pressure," they wrote. They added, "I don't see [a] future for myself anyway."

A commenter addressed the mother's behavior and the poster's goals.

"The head games being played by your mother are messed up," a commenter wrote. The commenter then addressed the poster's reactions under pressure.

"You can work on shifting how you respond to stress and pressure without losing sight of your professional goals," the commenter added.

A commenter suggested separating the poster's sense of value from their parents' approval.

"Therapy can help you reach that level of emotional independence, where their words no longer have the same power over you," a commenter wrote.

Another commenter split the verdict in two and shared a story about a father.

"NTA for feeling hurt, but YTA for how you handled it," they wrote. "Your mom's comments were passive and invalidating [...] screaming profanity and yelling at her over a boiling pot is out of line."

The commenter said recognizing the line was crossed is a good thing. "Please apologize for the yelling, let ger [sic] know about her negativity, and most importantly, talk to a therapist," the commenter added. "Your anxiety and hopelessness are distorting your reactions, and you deserve support."

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in this thread. The details above reflect the original poster's account as shared on r/AITAH. The poster's identity, the mother's identity, and the commenters' usernames have not been confirmed.