A TikTok user, Hannah (@thrivingwithhannah), discussed gentle parenting and conventional schooling in a video she uploaded Aug. 17. She said that parents who ensure their children develop emotional intelligence and learn respectful communication might find that their kids have difficulties when they start school. The creator said such parents often worry because they have spent a lot of time helping their children understand emotions and express their needs, and now the children need to fend for themselves.
In the video, the creator maintained that traditional schools often have difficulty meeting those expectations. Teachers are tasked with looking after large classes while meeting curriculum requirements and the targets set by the school.
The creator said she used to work at a pupil referral unit, which educates children who are unable to attend mainstream schools. After that, she decided to educate her own children outside the school system. Her children are now 15, 13 and 11, she added.
@thrivingwithhannah There’s a load of nuance I can’t fit into one video- discomfort, boredom, frustration etc are parts of normal life and I’m not saying every second of a kid’s life should be magical at all. Some schools are also trying democratic and restorative approaches- but with the lack of resources that schools have, they are often forced to choose between efficiency and wellbeing. It’s not teachers’ fault, it is simply the drawbacks of such an old and archaic system. #ukschool #teachertok #backtoschool #gentleparenting #homeschooling
♬ original sound - thrivingwithhannah
Hannah said many teachers would like to communicate with their students respectfully, but institutional constraints make it hard to give each child the individual attention that parents can provide. The creator said it is impossible to have 30 children work through the national curriculum with set targets while fully respecting each child's autonomy and individuality.
Most commenters said gentle parenting should help children become resilient rather than protect them from all discomfort. Some also noted that this approach might be mistaken for permissive parenting, which involves not consistently enforcing boundaries or consequences.
A TikTok user who is a teacher commented that respectful communication and clear boundaries can coexist. However, the teacher acknowledged that implementing this approach can be difficult in crowded classrooms with demanding timetables. Another commenter said their 15- and 13-year-old children were raised with gentle parenting and were still able to understand that school functions differently from home.
The conversation also raised concerns among some parents about children with special needs. One person described the difficulties their autistic daughter faced in high school and said that punishment and direct teaching methods were not working for her.
On a related note, the creator acknowledged that some schools are experimenting with democratic and restorative teaching methods.
The video, which had more than 600 likes at the time of publication, does not prove that children raised with gentle parenting are inherently less prepared for school. For the creator, homeschooling is a way to have more control over her children's education. At the same time, the video recognized that this option is not practical or accessible for all families.
