A 19-year-old university student made a post on the subreddit r/AITAH in which she said she had been living with her 23-year-old roommate, Sarah. She added that she was having difficulty balancing her roommate's habit of sleeping during the day with her own studies and family responsibilities, which had led to a discussion on Reddit about boundaries in shared housing. The student said they had been living together for over a year and had gotten along well before Sarah started working night shifts roughly two weeks ago.
The OP said Sarah generally gets back to their dorm between 6 and 7 a.m. and then sleeps until the afternoon. She occasionally takes another nap before going back to work. As a result, the student has to keep their shared room dark and quiet while Sarah is sleeping.
The student stated that she had already made several accommodations, such as avoiding the main light, using her phone's flashlight or a small bedside lamp to do her university assignments, wearing headphones during family calls and putting off conversations with her relatives to avoid disturbing her roommate.
Yet the restrictions had become increasingly frustrating because some of her academic work requires concentration and occasional phone calls. She also mentioned that Sarah has an eye mask and earplugs to help her sleep during the day but does not always use the earplugs.
The dispute reached its climax on a Sunday when the OP had a family phone call with her mother, aunt and grandmother.
She also mentioned that she had been wearing headphones and speaking quietly during the conversation for about 90 minutes, although she had not been talking the entire time. But after Sarah woke up, the OP asked her roommate if there was an issue and learned that Sarah was upset because the call had disrupted her sleep. Although the student apologized more than once, she remained worried that she was expected to stay almost completely silent in the room during the day.
She also mentioned that she had previously left the lights off when Sarah took afternoon naps, even before she started working night shifts. The OP also said that she does most of the sweeping, which is why she feels that housekeeping and chores are not evenly distributed.
Comment
byu/Objective_Ice5773 from discussion
inAITAH
The post drew strong reactions from Reddit users, many of whom said the student was already making considerable efforts to accommodate her roommate. One commenter said it was reasonable to be considerate of someone who works at night but unreasonable to expect a roommate to behave as if the room were a library in the afternoon. Others recommended that Sarah use her earplugs more regularly and buy a better sleep mask. Many also suggested that the roommates discuss their expectations or consider other housing options if they could not agree on a workable routine.
The OP subsequently commented that she lives in the European Union, where student housing arrangements differ from those in the United States. It turned out that Sarah had taken a temporary break from university because of health problems, but her student housing contract had not yet expired, so she was still living there.
