Reddit Dad Sparks Debate After Wife Says Kids Don’t Really Do Sleepovers Anymore

A six-year-old's request for a friend to sleep over during summer break led to a wider discussion about parenting norms.

Her dad posted to the platform asking whether sleepovers were still a normal part of childhood. His wife had told him they were no longer common. He disagreed, but the conversation stuck with him enough to post about it online.

The poster has four children aged six and under who follow a set sleep schedule and go to bed at 8 p.m. He suggested to his wife that the grandparents could watch the younger ones so their oldest could have a friend stay over. The kids could have s'mores, watch a movie, and he could take them fishing at the end of the street. His wife objected to the idea.

She raised the question of whether he would let their daughter sleep at a friend's house. He said yes. That, he wrote, was not the answer she was looking for.

"I can see her point that we are still getting to know her friends parents," he wrote. "But to think sleep overs are no longer a thing, when did that stop?"

The post drew hundreds of replies. Opinions on the thread split between those who said sleepovers were still common, and those who said sleepovers had become less common.

A commenter who identified as a teacher wrote, "Yes, this is a real thing. Sleepovers are much more rare than they used to be." Another described having five children between the ages of three and 20, all of whom had sleepovers regularly from ages seven or eight. "Weird that I only encounter this sentiment online but not in real life," they wrote.

Several commenters referenced a newer concept called a ‘sleepunder,’ where children go home before bedtime.

One Reddit commenter noted the sleepunder made practical sense. "Which, as I recall from childhood, is how a significant number of attempted sleepovers actually went anyway. Somebody got homesick or mad at somebody else and called a parent to pick them up early. It really makes a lot of sense to do the fun part and then go home to sleep where everybody is comfortable."

A 2023 YouGov poll of over 6,000 U.S. adults found 52 percent still felt sleepovers had a positive impact on a child's well-being. One in eight claimed they had a negative impact, and a further 15 percent said they had no effect.

Several replies addressed the original question directly: what age, and under what conditions. Most who still allowed sleepovers pointed to ages seven to nine as a starting point, with the condition that parents knew the hosting family reasonably well.

One commenter with three older children said sleepovers had happened several times a month for years across all three. They added the experience matched what they saw in their community, not what they read online.

The poster has not shared a follow-up on whether his daughter's sleepover took place.