A question posted to Reddit's r/AskReddit asking elderly people who chose not to have children how they feel about that decision has drawn hundreds of responses.
Commenters described a range of outcomes — contentment, occasional grief and in several cases meaningful relationships with children who were not their own.
One of the most upvoted comments came from user FlickasMom, who described their life at 72 as peaceful and entirely on their own terms. “At 72 years old, I’m as content as ever,” they wrote. “My home is filled with peace and tranquility; any drama only arises if I choose to create it myself.”
Further down the thread, user Omakaeru described a life without children but with no shortage of meaningful connection to them. “At 55, I have no regrets whatsoever,” they said, and wrote how they doted on their nieces, not sons or daughters.
Timahe commenter described working as a court-appointed special advocate — known as a CASA — representing foster children in legal proceedings. “I’ve often been cautioned about my ‘biological clock.’ However, it seems my clock is malfunctioning, as I’ve never felt a strong desire to have children of my own,” they added. The work still involved kids, just not ones calling them mom or dad.
User Imaginary Mind7628 offered a different perspective — not as a childless person but as an adult child whose mother became a CASA volunteer after her biological children repeatedly let her down
“My mother has given birth to several children, and my love for her is beyond what I can express. However, when we—her biological kids—consistently let her down and failed to meet her expectations, she became a CASA volunteer,” they said.
The commenter admitted feeling selfish for resenting the decision, even while acknowledging the good it did.
User ShelterNo7784 shared a Mother's Day moment that reframed what the holiday had come to mean for her. “At 67 years old, I have no regrets,” she wrote. She talked about two “honorary kids” in their early forties who texted out of the blue on Mother’s Day.
“They each expressed that I have been a better mother to them than their biological ones,” she said, and added, “It truly made my day!”
The thread is still active and drawing responses — suggesting the question landed somewhere close to home for more people than the original poster may have expected
