Mom Shares How She Handles Parenting Rage Behind Closed Doors—’I’d Rather Be Raging at My Pillow’

A TikTok video shows a mother using a pillow to release frustration when she feels overwhelmed. The video is of a mother, who is seen throwing a pillow against a wall repeatedly. In another clip she is then also seen punching it.

As she is doing this, captions on the screen talk about why she is handling her stress this way.

"Some days as a mom I get pushed past my limits," it says. "I get some overwhelmed and irritated it feels like I'm going to explode. I want to punch and scream as hard as I can at the walls. As much as I want to chill out, when I reach this point, it feels impossible. So I let myself feel it, instead of pretending I don't. Being a mother is just as amazing as it is hard. And sometimes, the hard parts break me. It's not the best way to cope, clearly. But I'd rather be raging at my pillow than at my daughter."

Commenters Push Back on Claims About Spanking

The account that reposted the video, which originally appeared on TikTok, suggested that a lack of spanking during childhood contributed to the mother's behavior. The claim drew pushback from commenters.

One X commenter wrote, "I disagree about the spanking. I raised a well informed strong 24 year old girl who never was spanked. I believe there are other ways to encourage values and self-worth then spanking. She had a strong father figure in her life who encouraged conversation and accountability and an alert mother who always told her why she was in trouble and here are the consequences."

"Spanking is lazy parenting. Ruling by fear instead of guidance. You’re right about permissive parenting though—it’s not the way. And if you’re wondering, I raised three kids to adulthood without ever hitting them, and yes, they’re excellent, productive members of society," said another X user.

The mother behind the TikTok acknowledges that she does not consider the behavior an ideal way to cope. However, she says in the video's on-screen text that when she feels overwhelmed, she would rather direct her frustration toward a pillow than toward her daughter. The video centers on her attempt to manage those moments of intense frustration without directing them at her child.

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the circumstances surrounding the video, which was originally posted on TikTok and later shared on X.