A TikToker shared how her first serious relationship with a woman changed her approach to communication. The creator who posts as @brianaksmith, said she dated men exclusively before meeting her girlfriend. She started dating her current partner at 32 and noticed major differences.
@brianaksmith What’s the biggest difference you’ve seen? #lateinlifelesbian #wlw #comingout #comingoutsupport #lateinlifelesbiansupport
♬ original sound - Bri
Her observations sparked debate about emotional intelligence, healthy relationships and gender expectations. The video had drawn more than 69,000 likes and approximately 1,116 comments as of publication.
The creator said she could not hide small changes around her girlfriend. She said even a shift in energy from her prompted questions about what was wrong. Even a facial expression or sarcastic comment could start a conversation. She said the experience taught her she could no longer stay silent when something bothered her.
She also praised her girlfriend for taking her concerns seriously. When problems arise, the creator said they discuss them and work toward solutions. She described receiving apologies, reassurance and actual behavioral changes afterward. That experience made her realize that communicating her needs could genuinely change things.
The creator said she also wants immediate feedback about her own behavior. She explained that she cares when something she says or does upsets her girlfriend. That mutual attention, she said, keeps both partners aware of each other’s feelings. She called that dynamic one of the best parts of her relationship.
Her comments resonated with viewers who shared similar experiences. One commenter wrote, “Welcome to being with a woman, we pay attention. Lol.” Another viewer praised the communication, writing, “There is just more emotional intelligence with a woman to woman relationship.” Those viewers agreed that emotional attentiveness can transform a relationship.
Other TikTok users challenged the creator’s comparison between women and men. One commenter wrote, “That’s called a healthy relationship and an emotionally aware person.” They also added, “It’s not like that with everyone though.” Another user connected the experience with gay relationships, writing, “Gay men say the same thing.”
Some viewers focused on how much conversation can happen between two emotionally attentive partners. One commenter wrote, “It’s amazing how one conversation can be productive, caring, sexy, romantic and flirty.” They added that talking with their partner felt “so fun.” The comment highlighted the intimacy that can come through constant communication.
Another commenter wrote, “A man will never be able to love a woman the way another woman can. UNMATCHED!!” That comment captured the enthusiasm behind many responses. However, other viewers pushed back against treating emotional awareness as inherently gendered.
The creator ultimately framed her experience as personal growth. She said her relationship forced her to become more emotionally aware and communicative. Her girlfriend’s attentiveness encouraged her to address feelings instead of suppressing them.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events or relationship history described in this video. The details above reflect the personal account shared on TikTok by @brianaksmith. The video reflects the creator's own experience and perspective.
