A Reddit user started a discussion about men's non-negotiables in romantic relationships. The post, titled “Men, what are non-negotiables for you in romantic relationships and why ??,” drew 219 comments as of publication. Several users shared their opinions, bringing different perspectives into the discussion.
One of the first factors mentioned in the comments was lying. The original poster clarified that he wasn't referring to minor lies, such as saying someone weighs 190 pounds when they actually weigh 200. Instead, he meant saying you like something when you actually don't or pretending to know something when you don't. In response, one commenter shared an experience with an ex-partner whose behavior became frustrating. The commenter continued, “One example is I wanted to go to a car show and asked if she wanted to come along or just chill at home. She insisted on coming and, like, 20 minutes in, got bored, and I offered to leave a few times, but she insisted we stay. She then got mad I took too long.”
Another issue that came up was having different views about children. One commenter wrote that he would not consider a relationship with a woman who did not want children. In response, another man wrote, “That’s my dilemma right now. There’s the woman I’m interested in, and she’s giving me signs back, but I know she wants kids and I don’t. A buddy is saying to go for it and have that conversation later, but I fear we might actually hit it off and then the kid thing becomes an issue.”
Another commenter said that a partner must not smoke, chew tobacco or use snuff. Honesty and accountability also came up as important qualities. One commenter wrote, “I want someone who is willing to speak up when something I do is bothering them and willing to take ownership when they do something that's bothering me. I've had relationships where both people just bottle things up and simmer quietly, and that never works out well.”
Then came a comment that mentioned, “I need to feel like I can truly be myself with the other person. I’m lucky to have now been with someone for a long time now with whom I can be myself. That doesn’t mean she likes my flaws or that I like hers, just that we help each other overcome them. When we accept each other fully in this way then it is easier to be honest and open with each other and the longer we are together the better it gets.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims in the post. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.
