A Reddit user asked people to share their opinions on what actually constitutes a red flag in a relationship, arguing that the term is now applied to almost everything. The question was posted on r/relationships_advice, a subreddit with more than 190,000 members.
The post, shared by u/TargetSuch2060 on Nov. 12, gained traction as users offered their opinions. "What’s something people consider a red flag in relationships that you actually think is completely normal?" the post's title read.
"I feel like social media has turned almost everything into a red flag these days," the original poster wrote. "Curious where people draw the line between actual warning signs and just being human."
Users in the subreddit offered differing opinions. "Being close friends with their ex," one user wrote. " I actually think it's more of a green flag; being able to go from a relationship to a friendship while being on good terms requires a lot of trust and good conflict management, and those are good qualities in a partner."
Two other users agreed with the commenter. One said the circumstances mattered, adding that they were comfortable with someone staying in touch with an ex-partner if the relationship had been healthy and was "truly over." The user added that the actual red flag was " when all their exes are crazy."
It was unclear whether the commenter meant that a person who describes all their ex-partners as "crazy" is a red flag or that all of the person's former partners were toxic. Another user shared a personal experience, writing, "Agreed. My first husband claimed all his exes were crazy somehow. I'm pretty sure now he tells tall tales about how awful I am. He always had to be the victim in every situation. My current husband is friendly with several exes and just views them as complete human beings who just didn't happen to be compatible with him long-term."
Another user said that having a strained relationship with one's family could be considered a red flag, then shared a personal perspective. "I'm a lesbian, so it's actually pretty common for the people I date to have been outcast by their families," the user wrote. "But for hetero relationships, I'd say this is a yellow flag, at worst. There's a lot of reasons people might have to cut their families off."
Another commenter offered a different perspective on friendships with people of the opposite sex, arguing that not having friends of the opposite sex could be a red flag. "As a woman, it shows me they see women as people and aren't only nice to women they're attracted to," the user wrote.
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims in the post. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.
