A TikTok user, @hot.topicks2, posted some advice on August 11 about masculinity and personal growth, which is gaining popularity among viewers. In the video, which has over 61,400 likes, he shared three experiences that he thinks can teach men valuable life lessons and, in turn, lead them to "become a man."
His first example was losing a fight, more specifically, an amateur boxing match in which he said he was knocked down in front of a crowd. Though he considers the experience embarrassing, he still thinks it taught him the importance of preparation and physical conditioning. He says, "If you're gonna be a boxer, your condition needs to be on point," adding that losing at such a point in life can reveal weaknesses and that men start taking commitments seriously after that.
The second lesson concerned financial loss. The creator said that if someone makes a bad investment while trying to make a quick profit, they can end up losing a large sum of money. He said that this experience, though unwelcome, can make people more careful about future investments that might shake up their lives in worse ways and more conscious of the risks that come with financial decisions.
His third example involved men who lost a romantic partner who had supported them after they cheated. He says men in such situations only come to appreciate the value of the relationship after she left. He stressed that the person responsible for the breakup must take responsibility for having lost something valuable.
The video prompted discussion in the comments, with viewers sharing their own experiences of failure and heartbreak that may have led to personal growth. Although some believed difficult experiences could teach valuable lessons, others doubted that suffering was necessary for maturity. A commenter stated, "Ain't no growth without any loss and failure."
Another person related to the video and said, "Losing a good woman gotta be top 3 worst experiences of life."
Others, however, had their own interpretations of what it means to "be a man." One commenter wrote, "Not letting another man determine whether or not you're a man," rejecting the notion that masculinity should be defined by physical confrontation.
Yet another commenter challenged the creator's idea more directly, saying, "Actually avoid these things if you can. You don't need to do these things to 'become a man'."
