Man Says His Father Chose His Ex-Girlfriend Over Him After He Asked Dad Not to Invite Her to a Barbecue

A post to r/AITAH on Oct. 23, 2026, asks whether the poster was wrong to cut contact with his father over an ex-girlfriend. The poster says his father planned to invite the ex-girlfriend to a barbecue. The thread had gathered more than 2,000 upvotes and 707 comments at the time of publication.

The Redditor wrote that he broke up with his 21-year-old girlfriend about a year ago. The couple had dated for a year and a half. “It wasn’t a bad breakup, we just simply realized that we weren’t a good match,” he said. His father “had never shown any interest in getting close to any of my partners,” but he bonded with the ex over a shared passion for hunting.

The man said the two continued to go hunting, fishing and to a shooting range after the breakup. He added that the outings involve larger groups, writing, “please don’t read any romantic involvement into it.” The poster let it go because the breakup was amicable.

Everything was fine until the poster got a new girlfriend about two months ago. He brought her home to meet his parents in the days before posting. His mother was friendly, while his father seemed uninterested in meeting her. The father then brought up the ex and said he planned to invite her to a barbecue the following week.

The new girlfriend asked who the ex was, and the poster answered honestly. He said his girlfriend was not jealous and did not mind his father spending time with the ex. However, she did not want to attend a gathering with the ex because “it’s just weird.”

After dropping his girlfriend off at her home, the Redditor told his father that inviting the ex would not be appropriate. His father became defensive and insisted he could invite whoever he wanted. The poster acknowledged that it was his father’s house but said he and his girlfriend would not attend. His mother was upset and begged them to reconsider. The poster then messaged the ex and explained the situation. She agreed to skip the gathering and wished them well. Hours later, he received an angry message from his father.

His father wrote that they had no right to decide whom he invited and that “we are no longer invited to the gatherings or to their home.” His mother later visited and said the father was angry that the ex had declined the invitation out of respect for the relationship. She said he wanted the poster to convince the ex to keep attending. Otherwise, he wanted nothing more to do with them.

The poster said he had decided to “maintain some self-respect and not beg my father to change his mind.” He planned to end contact, calling the compromise reasonable because his father and the ex could still meet through shared activities. "So i am really in the Wrong here and what should i do ?[sic]", he asked in the thread.

One reply recommended a way for the poster to handle the standoff. The commenter wrote, “Yeah, that’s not normal behavior. I would just stop or go low contact for awhile until things cool down with your parents.” They added, “Your dad’s behavior is very bizarre.”

Another commenter compared the father’s behavior with his reactions to the poster’s previous partners. They wrote, “Yea, even for an ex of only 1.5 yrs. It was such a drastic change since OP mentions he’s had other girlfriends before and the father wasn’t this attached. I would definitely be side-eyeing the dad here."

One commenter considered the situation from the poster’s mother’s perspective. They wrote that if they were the poster’s mother, they would wonder why a spouse was “so determined to hang out with my son’s ex-girlfriend that he was willing to disown his son over it. It may not be ‘romantic’ but [...] that’s a strong attachment."

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in the post. The details above reflect the poster’s account as shared on r/AITAH. The identities of the poster, his father, his ex-girlfriend and the commenters have not been confirmed.