A man has invented a game to prove that men don’t know anything about their friends
In a viral video posted to TikTok, Andrew (@andrewlaffertyy) tested the ‘game’ on his friends by asking them the name of his recent ex-girlfriend.
The video provoked shocked comments from both men and women about the nature of male friendships, leading to discussions about the male loneliness epidemic.
What happened in the video?
“You know how people say men don’t know anything about their friends?” Andrew explains to the camera. “I made a game to put it to the test.”
The video then switches to Andrew sitting on a couch with three of his male friends.
“I went through a breakup this year,” he begins, before one of his friends immediately interjects, “Don’t ask her name!”
“It was really bad. I had to move out of my apartment, I left New York. What was her name?” Andrew concludes. His friends all laugh, each of them struggling to remember his ex’s name, with one of them even declaring, “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” only to be told that he had met her.
The guys eventually guess the name of the “Gen Z female” Andrew dated, thinking it was MacKenzie, only to be told that they were wrong.
@andrewlaffertyy full video in biography
♬ original sound - Andrew Lafferty
Commenters couldn’t believe that these men were supposedly such close friends if they were incapable of answering such a basic question.
“The breakup left him so devastated he had to MOVE and not a single one of his friends can even give a name?” wrote Scruffydusk.
“So you’re not friends… hope that helps,” added Jessethegirl.
““Y’all live like this?” someone else questioned.
Others referenced the much-discussed male loneliness epidemic, with many women blaming this on men if this video is representative of the quality and intimacy of their interactions with friends.
“And it’s our fault they’re lonely?” someone commented while someone else said, “Male loneliness should NEVER be put on women after seeing this.”
Some men flocked to the comments to defend their own friendships, feeling that this group wasn’t true friends.
“This isn’t male friendship, this is a bunch of guys who hang out together. Big difference,” wrote Matt Tapley.
“To all the girls in these comments, despite what the narrative is, this is not the norm,” said dabombiest. “I know any and everything about my bois”
What is the male loneliness epidemic?
The video sparked discussions about a so-called male loneliness epidemic, which—while rooted in reality—has become an internet buzzword that often appears in discussions about the increasing gulf between men and women, and is sometimes linked to incel culture.
The term has grown in popularity over the last five years and is often used alongside research that shows how young men, especially in the United States, are experiencing increased levels of loneliness compared to previous years.
For example, a 2021 survey showed that men have 50% fewer close friendships than their female peers. Another study in Gallup showed that 1 in 4 men (25%) aged 15 to 34 regularly feel lonely, compared to 18% of women in that same age range.
As studies like this became widespread, men began referring to a ‘male loneliness epidemic’, sharing their thoughts online about why they were experiencing higher levels of loneliness than women—from not having close male friendships like Andrew’s video depicts, to more contentious ideas about the behavior and attitudes of women, especially in dating. Women, too, have retaliated to the idea of a male loneliness epidemic—instead believing that some men inflict this upon themselves by objectifying women and not wanting to commit to romantic relationships.
Despite evidence showing that young men do feel lonely, other research shows that women feel the same level of loneliness—but are simply more likely to confide in a friend.
“Men and women are about equally likely to say they have at least one close friend – and most do. But men who have close friends don’t communicate with them as often as women do. Higher shares of women than men say they send text messages, interact on social media, and talk on the phone or video chat with a close friend at least a few times a week,” an article by Pew Research Center claimed.
Others think that gendering what has been declared a loneliness epidemic in general is unhelpful.
“By arbitrarily gendering a universal loneliness, our fragmented society becomes further fractured, and the discourse surrounding relationships becomes a breeding ground for misogyny,” an opinion writer for the University of California, Irvine, New University, wrote.
“If the public is to seriously confront the growing crisis of loneliness, it cannot—must not—frame the crisis as something exclusive to men. To do so is to allow the manosphere to take ownership of the matter and entrench culture further into a contemptuous, misogynistic fugue,” it concluded.
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