A thread on r/AskMen in September 2026 asks divorced men what their wives stopped doing before the marriage ended. The post, uploaded by a female user, has gathered more than 465 upvotes and 311 comments at the time of publication.
One commenter described how a conversation about distance in the marriage went and what followed at home. They wrote, “I told my ex wife it felt like we were just roommates, she did not take that well.” They said their comment history includes many anecdotes about how bad the marriage was. “Not to say I was perfect, I made a ton of mistakes,” they wrote.
The commenter said their ex-wife saw it differently. They wrote that “if you ask her I was responsible for everything up to and including the fall of Rome.” They described a change in the bedroom, saying, “She kicked me to the mattress on the floor where my child would sleep.” They gave her explanation, adding, “said that I came into bed too late and everyone was sleeping earlier. Why did I tolerate that, god knows."
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Another commenter addressed the relationship between s** and closeness in marriage. They wrote, “Lack of s** is not the cause, but the affect [sic] of a lack of emotional intimacy. Lack of s** causes a lack of emotional intimacy.” They told others to stop using the word “safe,” calling it a buzzword with no meaning.
The Redditor also wrote, “Women won’t have intimacy with their husband until he makes her feel safe outside of the bed.” They then discussed what each partner owes the other. “If you don’t satisfy his physical, emotional, and mental needs, why should he work on yours?” they asked. “If you stop being intimate with him, why would you expect him to be intimate with you?”
Another commenter argued that responsibility for meeting needs runs both ways and described risks women face. They wrote, “In a relationship both partners ideally will strive to meet the others [sic] needs. There is no reason why a man’s needs should come before a woman’s needs.”
The commenter said the stakes are uneven. “A woman has more to lose in a relationship with a man,” they wrote, listing pregnancy, raising children alone, and physical risk. They said a man who deserves a partner “will put in work to meet his partners [sic] needs rather than make empty demands for s**.”
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Another reply talked about older relatives as an example of marriages that continue without physical affection. “Both my grandparents on either side of my family slept in different rooms,” they wrote. They said they never saw the couples touch each other. “Sometimes marriage is more about having someone’s presence and care than lust,” they wrote.
They said companionship holds more value in old age. “They’re going to be there to remind you to take your medicine, to cook for you when you’re sick,” they wrote. However, couples should never cease to be kind to each other. “Ceasing all kindness is another story though,” they added.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the accounts described in this thread. The details above reflect the commenters’ accounts as shared on r/AskMen. The commenters’ identities and the marriages they described have not been confirmed.
