Commenters Debate Why Women Don’t Approach Men, List Reasons Ranging From One-Word Replies to Handling Rejections

A post shared to r/AskReddit on Sept. 27, 2026, asks why women do not approach men they like. The thread had gathered more than 254 upvotes and 645 comments at the time of publication.

The original poster asked, “Why don’t women just approach the men they are interested in?”

One commenter addressed how gender discussions have evolved online. “Gender wars have seriously gotten out of hand,” they wrote. “I see men constantly complaining about women on men’s forums, and women constantly complaining about men on women’s forums.” They said rationalists are attacked and pushed out of gender-focused subreddits and added, “Reddit is basically a toxic echo chamber for misogynists and misandrists alike.”

Another reply debated who faces rejection more often. “I think more men deal with rejection than women do as per the whole gender dynamic being ‘men approach, women choose,’” the commenter wrote. They said some people want equality for themselves but still refuse to act in ways that would make them equal when given the opportunity.

The commenter wrote, “The vast majority of men handle rejection quite well while a small subset does not.” They said women do not approach men because “the same rejection that men are incredibly used to is horrifying to them and they cannot handle it.” They added that “it also isn’t entirely their fault when they’ve spent their entire lives being told they’re ‘the prize,’” and that being rejected causes that belief to crumble.

Another commenter described frustration with women they had tried to date. “Women make it really difficult or gamey,” they wrote. “Even when a girl that’s been playing games for months finally starts acting like they want to be approached so you do, they instantly go back to playing games.”

The commenter added, “Dealing with women I don’t think they know how to flirt or meet guys at all.”

Another commenter described the number of messages they claimed to have sent. “I’ve probably messaged 100,000,000 women to get no response at all,” they wrote. They said that “when I did get a response from 100 out of 100,000,000, 99 of them were one-word replies.”

The commenter wrote, “I ask questions, I show interest, I say interesting things.” They said, “I put on my motley and dance like the [...] court jester I apparently have to be, and get desert-dry monosyllabic replies.” They emphasized that they faced the same issue on most occasions when trying to talk to women.

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the accounts described in these comments. The details above reflect the commenters’ accounts as shared on r/AskReddit. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.