People online are dunking on Chipotle’s CEO after he suggests portion sizes aren’t getting smaller

It’s not often that the internet unifies over a topic, but Chipotle’s recent dip in quality and especially portion size has truly brought us together. Truly, Chipotle goers internet-wide have made their voices heard on the shift in Chipotle’s quality and generosity, with even Chipotle advocate Keith Lee speaking out about this startling turn of events. 

Well, word travels fast across the information superhighway and now Chipotle CEO Brian Niccol has spoken to the controversy in a recent Fortune video.

“We never have (shrunken portions),” declares Niccol, which…

“If you come into the restaurant and you want a little more rice or you want a little more pico, all you got to do is kind of like —-” and Nicol gives a nondescript, vaguely knowing look. “And usually our guys and women give them a little more scoop.” Of course! 

“We always want to give people big portions that get them excited about the food. It’s kind of who we are,” says Niccol.

Surely, the internet will be happy with this very specific, very tone-hearing (opposite of tone deaf) response, right?

Well, those are the tweets. Let’s take a look at the on-camera responses. Surely those will be a parade of tearful “thank you sir”s. 

Oh noooo, these patrons are roasting Niccol’s foolproof “disappointed shrug” approach! Well, let’s click on, as gratefulness surely awaits.  

Ah well, Brian. At least you didn’t have to promise anything would actually get fixed! Feels like a win in the CEO book to me! 

On the other hand, Niccol’s video has also yielded a very important observation. 

If there’s one thing Niccol has provided us larger portions of, it’s the gift of laughter.

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