TikTok creator @lifewithlizeth posted a video describing why her parents refused to allow her to spend the night at her fiancé’s house. At the time of publication, the video had received more than 362,000 views and 83 comments. She saw nothing wrong with the request because they were already engaged to be married, but her parents believed it was a matter of respect and tradition.
Lizeth began the video by saying she was preparing to surprise her dad with a question: “Can I stay the night at my fiancé’s house?” For those raised with different traditions and values, it might seem like a strange question for a grown woman, especially one who is already engaged, to ask her parents.
She explained that she lives in a Mexican household and follows her family’s customs. She went on to say that she had spent the night with her fiancé only once before. According to Lizeth, a mixture of respect and cultural traditions led her parents to discourage engaged couples from spending the night together or living together before getting married.
One commenter found it disturbing that she needed to ask permission to spend the night with the man she was going to marry. They wrote, “This is not about respect. This is about confusing patriarchal power with respect. Respect is the dad respecting his daughter's right to autonomy, not manipulating her into thinking he owns her autonomy. This is incredibly sad.”
TikTok commenters question the rules surrounding couples and overnight stays
While preparing to ask her father, Lizeth was noticeably apprehensive and said, “I'm scared. . . Should I take him his bottle of whiskey?” But when she finally mustered up the courage to ask her parents, her mother replied, “Are you crazy?”
Lizeth repeatedly fired back, “What do you mean?!” Then her father could be heard saying, “No.” Although they weren't on board with her request, she seemed lighthearted about the situation. Her dad even joked with her, saying, “Why don't you get your stuff, and you move in? How is that?” He was joking about her moving into her fiancé's parents' house.
But Lizeth was persistent. She asked again, “Why not?” This time, her mother responded, “His parents are home and. . . It does not matter. Have respect for their home. . . Just because they're not there?”
Her dad then told her again to take her stuff and move in with her fiancé and his parents if she wanted to spend the night. Undeterred, the bride-to-be said, “I'm being serious. What's the difference?”
Other reactions came from commenters who more than likely shared similar traditions and had to wait for marriage to move in with their fiancé. They wrote, "My husband (fiance at the time) closed on a home and I was not allowed to move in until our wedding months later."
Another commenter confirmed that she's going through the same thing. She wrote, "Girl same. We get married next week, have our own apartment but I still can't go spend the night until we get married."
A separate commenter added that, despite being raised this way, they've chosen to raise their children differently. She wrote, "My parents wouldn't allow me to move out unless I was married. . . I ended up divorced and my parents said they wished they had allowed me to go live at the college dorm or my friend's apartment and have roomates. I am remarried and my stepdaughter could move out without rules. She is 25 with a fiancé and thriving."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made by @lifewithlizeth, which are based solely on her account of the interaction shared on TikTok.
