A TikTok documenting a creator's 30-day journey to manage her mental health and improve her relationship is gaining traction online. The video, posted by @kalinaisabella, follows the 12th day of her effort to stop arguing with her boyfriend. At the time of publication, the video had 85,100 views and 101 comments.
@kalinaisabella, who says she has been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder, created the series to raise awareness about how mental health can affect relationships. She is also using the series to work on a recurring pattern of arguments with her boyfriend and show others facing similar struggles that change is possible.
“There is no worse feeling than being in that terrible, awful cycle of like, knowing that your mood swings and outbursts are like driving people away and ruining your relationship, but still feeling like you can't help it,” she says at the beginning of the video.
She explains that she sometimes tells herself she won't freak out or overreact to something small, only to find herself doing it anyway.
According to @kalinaisabella, that pattern can become a cycle. She says the stress and guilt that follow an outburst can affect her mental well-being and contribute to further mood swings. She also doesn't want her boyfriend to feel like he has to avoid bringing things up with her because he is worried about how she might react.
For her, breaking the cycle means focusing on more than just anger. She compares it to exercising different muscles.
“If your emotions are like muscles, if you're constantly flexing the anger muscle, that's gonna be the quickest one to react,” she says. “That's gonna be the strongest one, right?”
She says changing those patterns requires consciously practicing different responses, rather than simply trying not to get angry.
TikToker says gratitude and support can help break the cycle
Another part of the process, she says, is focusing on the things she appreciates about her relationship, both when she's alone and when she's with her partner.
She encourages people to find ways to support their partners, cheer them on and celebrate their accomplishments. Looking back at her previous relationships, she says she realized she had focused heavily on what she felt she wasn't receiving.
“One thing I wasn't realizing I was doing wrong, not even like just now in my relationship, but in all my relationships, I was so like, I'm not getting the support I need. I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel respected,” she says.
She then says that, when she took a step back and considered her own behavior, she realized she was “demanding more than I was giving.”
Even after falling into unhealthy patterns, she says, people can make a conscious effort to build healthier relationship dynamics.
TikTok users are loving this series so far
The video's comments are filled with support from both new viewers and people who have been following the series. Several commenters said they related to her experiences with emotional outbursts and the difficulty of apologizing after repeatedly reacting in ways they regret.
One commenter wrote that they hated feeling unable to control their outbursts and said they often felt justified in the moment, only to experience shame afterward.
Another commenter discussed “reactive dynamics” in relationships and said the creator's focus on gratitude resonated with them.
Others thanked @kalinaisabella for sharing the series, with some saying the videos had encouraged them to work on their own behavior or seek professional help.
“I literally started therapy last week because of this! He loves me so much, I don't want to lose him because I overreact,” one commenter wrote.
Managing mental health and relationship patterns can be complicated, and @kalinaisabella's series has sparked a broader conversation about accountability, communication and making an effort to change.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made by TikTok creator @kalinaisabella, which are based on her opinions shared in the video.
