A TikTok creator, @adrieldailyy, spoke about a topic that, according to him, isn’t discussed much: dating someone with kids. In the video, the man shared five important things to consider when dating someone with kids. The video had received 238,100 views, 31,200 likes and 344 comments as of publication.
Before discussing the topic, the TikTok user made it clear that he isn’t a relationship guru, dating coach or dating expert. He claims to be in a happy and healthy relationship. He said that dating someone with kids can be very rewarding, but he also reveals that it can be a different experience altogether.
It definitely has layers: scheduling, responsibilities, emotional awareness and requires a lot of patience,” said the creator. The number one rule is that kids come first. He added that this rule means the kids are the top responsibility, so last-minute cancellations can happen if something conflicts with their needs.
The number two rule is that you need to understand that you are entering someone’s life who already has established routines, codependency dynamics and possibly an excellent emotional history. The TikTok user claims that single parents' maturity levels tend to be different from those without children.
“Most single parents are more intentional, so if you're here to waste somebody's time, please, for the sake of God, don't do that.”
At number three, the TikTok creator said that meeting the kids is a really big deal; hence, pace matters. “If they move slow with that, it's usually a really good sign. And if you do meet the kids, your role first is to be a supportive adult, not a new parent,” the user said.
The TikTok creator warned that if you are meeting someone with kids, then you will have some sort of additional responsibility in your life towards those children. The creator added that if you do not want to take on this responsibility, then you should not move forward in this relationship.
The fourth point the user brings up is a question that the creator asks all those who are dating someone with kids. “Are you okay with not always being the priority? Are you okay with schedules and responsibilities? Are you patient enough to handle them? Are you secure enough to handle an ex being in the picture? Do you even like kids?”
The TikTok user said that if you don’t like kids, then do not move forward with someone who has kids unless you feel like that person enough to do so. “You're only going to cause more damage to yourself, to that person, and to the innocent children.”
The fifth point that the creator points out is a red flag that he wants everyone to see. He said that if you are being pushed into the parental role, that is a red flag. Also, he adds that if there is constant drama with the ex, then that is a red flag, so one should run as fast as possible.
“If their kids have zero structure or discipline. Now, by this I mean, if you don't like their parenting style or the way they're being disciplined, I think this could be a red flag,” said the user.
One commenter wrote in the comments section, “As a single mom- i don’t need a father for my kids. I need a bf for mySELF!” Another user wrote, “I’m ok with committing to someone and still not having my son meeting that person until I FEEL it’s appropriate.”
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the experiences described by commenters on this video. The details above reflect the creator's stated views and commenters' individual accounts as shared on TikTok.
