A TikTok posted by @itsnotcourtneybell on September 11 lists what she considers the bare minimum standard for a first date. The video had drawn more than 1.2 million likes and 108,000 saves as of publication.
The TikToker said a man should 'pick a restaurant,' 'make a reservation,' and 'text her the details' ahead of time. She adds that he should "send a car to pick her up" ahead of time and "stand up when she arrives."
She told viewers the conversation should be balanced, advising men to 'ask her questions about herself as well as speaking about yourself' and to include 'details and depth' when discussing themselves. He should "swiftly pick up the check, don't bat an eye, sign with haste, put the card down, and tip well."
She then lists several things not to do at the end of the date, saying, "Don't ask her to go home with you. Don't insinuate her going home with you. Don't insinuate you going home with her." She says the date should end simply, with a "lovely, goodbye," followed by a message asking her to "text me when you get home."
The TikToker continues describing appropriate follow-up after the date has ended, saying he should "text her to see if she got home," then "text her the next day to reinforce the great date," ask about her availability for another date, and share details of what he has planned for it. She closes the list by asking the viewers, "Any questions?"
Commenters responded with a mix of agreement and skepticism about the standard she described. One argued that the entire list becomes irrelevant if there's mutual interest. They wrote, "Fellas if she likes you, you don't have to do 90% of this. She'll be all over you."
Another pushed back on the idea that this level of effort is realistic in modern dating. They wrote, "Just know the dudes who hit before didn't do none [sic] of this. dont [sic] play yourself kings."
A different commenter addressed men who might feel priced out of dating based on the list. They wrote, "Btw if Youre a man and saying you cant afford these things thats okay don't date!"
Another commenter described basic thoughtfulness as something already common among women. They wrote, "Mind you women will do this for their friends and never expect anything out of it."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the personal experiences referenced in the comments on this video. The details above reflect the TikTok creator's video as shared on TikTok.
