Reddit user u/Affectionate_Bar_743 shared an account of an uncomfortable first date in the r/dating community. In it, she described how what began as a seemingly promising meetup quickly unraveled into an unsettling exchange of messages. The post has hundreds of upvotes and comments from people weighing in on dating etiquette and safety.
The poster she had matched with a man only a few days earlier. And because he was about to leave for a two-week vacation, she suggested meeting before he left to see whether they connected in person. Though he initially declined due to scheduling conflicts, the woman's dating app match later offered to meet at the last minute.
The Redditor questioned their compatibility during the date due to his uneasy behavior. He repeatedly apologized for small things and seemed unable to remember answers she had just given. Although she hadn't fully closed the door on a second date, a final turn of events at the end changed her mind completely.
The woman said she tried to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye, but he turned his head so that "it's on the mouth" and told her, "Sorry, I just really wanted to do that." She later texted him to say she preferred to take things slowly. He agreed that "[it's] better to just call it off."
But the situation escalated when he continued sending messages after she stopped responding immediately while she was at the gym. The Redditor said one message read, "You can answer me, you know."
She eventually replied that they were "not a good match" and said that he continued to message and engage in passive-aggressive behavior after the date. She alleged that the man then sent additional messages accusing her of pushing to meet too quickly before later deleting them.
Worse yet, according to the Redditor, he also claimed he "wasn't even attracted" to her despite initiating the kiss earlier.
Reflecting on the experience, she wrote, "I am so glad that I did this through text. Who knows what would have happened if I did it in real life." She concluded, "Please stay safe and follow your gut." In an update, the original poster said the man later apologized for his behavior, saying he was tired. She added that she did not want to respond further.
In the comments, many encouraged her to end contact. One wrote, "He sounds entitled, childish, insecure, and desperate for attention," and appeared to be "trying to prove to himself that you're not interested" rather than build a genuine connection. Another reacted to the kiss: "As soon as I read the kiss thing (...) I didn't even wanna finish the post."
Others spoke on how the man handled rejection. "He 'wasn't even attracted to you' and yet turned his face to kiss you on the mouth because he wanted to," one commented, and said it was a "childish" response.
Another one of the most upvoted responses read: "The purpose of dating is not to avoid rejection. It is to discover whether two people can navigate awkwardness, disappointment, and differences with kindness. In that sense, the date was successful. It gave you an answer."
Disclaimer: The Daily Dot could not independently confirm the facts of this incident and is reporting based on the information available.
