A 30-year-old man took to Reddit to share a relationship problem he had faced with his 28-year-old girlfriend. His girlfriend refuses to take pictures with him, and the reason has made him wonder if it is “extremely sensible or slightly sad.” The post shared on r/dating_advice has received 2,300 comments as of publication.
The man started his post by writing that he had been seeing his girlfriend for about six weeks and had been on six dates. He said that everything between them has been going really well. According to him, they both initiate plans, his girlfriend is affectionate in public, and he also revealed that he met one of her friends briefly. “Nothing feels secretive,” he wrote.
Recalling an incident from last week, the man wrote that they were somewhere with a really nice view. He wrote that he suggested taking a picture together. According to him, she laughed it off and said, “I don't take couple pictures until I'm actually in a couple."
At first he thought she was joking but later realized it was a rule she had established. The explanation the girlfriend gave the man was that when she was actively dating, her camera roll ended up full of pictures with people she only knew for three weeks and never saw again.
The man wrote that the girlfriend had told him that when she deleted the pictures later, she always felt weirdly depressed. She said her rule was to wait until a relationship was defined before creating what she called "relationship souvenirs."
“She's totally fine taking a picture OF me or having me take one of her. Just not together,” the man wrote. “I honestly can't decide whether this is extremely sensible or slightly sad. Would this strike you as emotionally guarded, or just someone who learned what works for her?” he questioned.
One commenter supported the girlfriend and wrote, “This is genius on her part and quite frankly really smart. She has no idea where he will post them. And until he’s ready to commit they really aren’t a couple. She’s my hero for this. It’s totally fair.”
Another commenter also supported the girlfriend, “I’ve never had this as a “rule” but like why the hell would I want to take a couples picture with someone I barely know lol. I agree with her [,] it feels like putting the cart before the horse.”
A third commenter wrote, “Dude, I know us women need to get better at the whole 'men aren't mind readers' scenario, but I'd bet dollars to dimes that the next thing she was hoping to hear is "Well, should we actually define what this relationship is then?" She was giving you a chance to clarify.”
