A woman shared a lengthy post about her controlling mother-in-law, who she said never missed an opportunity to criticize her parenting and complain about her to her husband. The woman also mentioned that her mother-in-law often sent her instructions on how to manage the children, which left her angry. The post, titled “MIL acts like she is the manager of our family and my husband finally let her have it!” was shared in the r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit and drew 157 comments as of publication.
The woman started the post by describing an incident in which her mother-in-law came to her children's swimming lessons. As soon as she arrived, the woman claimed, her mother-in-law told her that her 4-year-old was too skinny. She also told her that her 6-year-old should wear goggles, despite knowing that he refused to wear them.
The woman added, “Her criticism even extended to the instructors and, in the past, other parents. Woman, I just want to relax after a long day and watch the kids swim without listening to your stream of criticisms!”
Recalling another incident, the woman wrote that when she casually mentioned that her older child walked himself to school on Thursdays, her mother-in-law ripped into her. She called her irresponsible and told her that someone might kidnap the child. “She announced that SHE would start taking him to school on Wednesdays and asked where my husband was. When I said he was usually home, she said she’d call him and give him sh-t.”
After one of the swimming lessons, the woman wrote, her son came out saying he was hungry. Her mother-in-law criticized her for not feeding him enough. The Reddit user revealed that she had given him a snack and usually avoided feeding him large amounts because he had vomited in the pool once after eating too much.
After this incident, the mother-in-law privately called her son and complained that the woman was not feeding the children enough. “She then announced that she’d start coming to our house after school to make sure the kids got snacks. The next day, she called my husband AGAIN to complain about my school drop-off arrangement,” she wrote.
“She also regularly texts me instructions about the kids: whether it’s safe to be outside, how I should dress them, or if I share photos in the group chat, if I’m letting them be unsafe (for example, allowing my son to climb monkey bars that are too high).”
The woman shared another incident in which her husband was away for work and she became extremely anxious because she was not regularly checking in with her mother-in-law about herself and the children. The mother-in-law even complained to her husband that the woman was being distant. “I’m 40. She’s not my mother. Yet I constantly feel like she’s appointed herself the manager/authority figure of my household,” she wrote.
The woman wrote that she had realized the common thread in these incidents was her anxiety and her need to manage everyone around her. But after her mother-in-law called to complain about her again, her husband snapped at his mother. “He told her she is constantly criticizing me and that it’s one thing for him to receive it, but I’m his wife, and he’s watching how much it upsets me,” she wrote. Her husband then set a clear boundary, and his mother was no longer invited to Wednesday swimming lessons.
One commenter wrote, “Sounds like MIL wants to be mommy...Glad hubs has a shiny spine, long may it stay strong.” Another wrote, “Next time she starts beaking off remind her of how nice it was when she wasn't. And that she actually can communicate with you like an rational adult and not a b!tchy control freak.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims made in the thread. The details reflect accounts shared by users in the r/JUSTNOMIL thread. The commenters' identities have not been confirmed.
