Woman Says She’ll ‘Ghost’ Her Family in 6 Months: “I’m Not Telling My Family When I Leave”

The idea of going no contact with family is becoming more common nowadays, and people have their own unique reasons for doing it. Like Redditor u/imtireddofthisgrampa, who posted to the r/GirlDinnerDiaries thread and went viral for her reasoning.

She begins her post with, “In 6 months I’ll be ghosting my family,” and then goes into why. She says she’s 36 years old and the oldest daughter in her family, and that her entire life she’s basically been “the help.”

She explains, “The expectation has always been that if someone in the family needs something, I’m supposed to put my entire life on hold. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, I’m just expected to step in and fix it or act as a buffer in the situation.”

Woman Says She Helps, but Is Criticized and Treated Like She Doesn’t Do Enough

Over the years, she says she’s consistently been the one expected to help whenever anyone in her family needs something. It doesn’t matter what she has going on, she’s expected to step in.

She detailed a few specific instances, including when her mom had knee replacement surgery and “no one else in the family would help.” She says she was working full-time and in school at the same time, but was still “expected to wait on her hand and foot.”

While she says she doesn’t regret helping, she adds, “What got to me was how quickly my help became taken for granted instead of appreciated.” She also recalls that when her sister got into legal trouble years ago, she “ended up carrying a lot of that responsibility, even though she was an adult making her own decisions.”

The original poster says, “No matter how much I contribute, it never seems to count for very long,” and that when she says no to a request, “it’s treated like this huge betrayal.” She adds that her family treats her plans and goals as if they come second, as though they can wait, and often disregards what she has going on so she can prioritize their needs. And she’s tired of it.

She explains that in six months she’ll complete her degree and, “I’m not telling my family when I leave,” adding that she needs “the opportunity to build a life where I’m not automatically expected to put everyone else’s needs before my own.”

She ends her post asking if other Reddit users have made an exit plan after realizing “the family role they’d been assigned was never going to change.” Surprisingly, many commenters shared they had experienced something similar as she has, with some saying they’ve decided to go no contact because of it and they’re happy with their decision.

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the post, which are based solely on the author's account shared on r/GirlDinnerDiaries.